New friends?

[hookjunior]

I'm not sure if this is the right spot for this but its fall and I'm in bowhunting mode. Here goes, I'm in my early thirties, married with two daughters. As it stands now my wife is not only my best friend but she's also my only real good friend. My kids are getting a little older, 9 and 6, so I'm getting a little more free time to enjoy my hobbies. The problem is I don't have anybody other than my three ladies to enjoy them with. Now don't get me wrong I love spending time with my family but some times it would be nice to have some guy friends to hang out with. My question is when you hit your thirties how are you supposed to make new friends? I like to think I'm a likeable enough guy but the problem is how do you meet new people? Just looking for any tips or advise thanks, hope I don't sound too pathetic.

[TylerS]

Don't take this the wrong way, but that makes me depressed! I can't help but feel like you're me four years from now.

I have a few friends, but none in the city I live in. All my college buddies up and left after graduation. I see them from time to time, but never spur of the moment. Nobody I was good friends with in high school has spoken with me in the past five years (except my wife, of course). It sucks! All my coworkers either are either vegetarians, don't hunt or are women who gag when I microwave leftover wild game for lunch.

Luckily, I've started meeting some of my new neighbors recently. So far we haven't met anyone really our age, but everyone is pleasant. I even went hunting with one fellow who lives up the road, and another neighbor is a dad of one of my good college buddies who lives out of town.

Still, it would be nice to know some guys with similar interest who could just stop on by anytime to shoot the bull and drink some beers. Maybe I'll get lucky and some of my old college friends will move to town...HA!

[tedl]

Join the Fire Dept. or the Jaycees (junior chamber of commerce). You have to get involved in order to meet people. The Jaycees is a good organization for that the age limit is 41 so it would be people your age.

[DonBo]

Join a local archery or rod and gun club. Lot's of like minded people there.

[gurkster]

Now that you are starting to have more "free time" you may want to join some activities that you are interested in to find like people. This forum is a good start, as there are get togethers (mostly for fishing/ice-fishing). Join a fishing league or an indoor archery club, as I see you are a bow hunter. I am in my 40's my wife is my best friend and 4 kids, etc - so I know what you are saying. I am a long ways from my single days, and my buddies have dispursed some too, but overall loving it all as it is right now. Also now that your kids are older and I assume starting some of their own activites, I am sure you will find other guys in similar situations that you will end up meeting. I know I met some good friends that way recently - through my kids activities. I think many of us go through that period as we leave single life and start to raise a family and get into aour jobs, etc. Put yourself out there and I am sure you will make many new friends, it may just take a little time.

[rbs]

Yep join the FD...or join your local archery club. I have met alot of people at both. Actually as far as opening hunting opportunities, the FD is where it is at!

[96trigger]

Getting involved in your kids lives will definitely help you meet more people. Finding like minded people can be a little more challenging, also finding people that you connect with is not always easy. The other guys are right, I have met people through my employment and church, and other organizations. Sometimes it becomes a great friendship, sometimes they just become aquaintances. You might need to be the one that takes the first step. Find someone you get along with and has the same interest as you, and ask them to go fishing or hunting some time, and then actually call them up. If that goes well, introduce the two families. Hunting and fishing is tough, most people don't openly invite people with them, but most people will go along if they get invited. So you might have to be the one to initiate it.

[Musky hunter 82]

hookjunior, what do you like to do for hobbies? I'm always looking for people to go out fishing with or hunting. It's a hard thing to find good friends (since i don't drink or go to the bars).

email me at [email protected] if you want to go hunting sometime.

[mrklean]

if there ever get togethers here on HSO go to them lots of good people on here

[so haaad]

Hook Jr, my advice as a fellow 30-something is to keep posting here on the HSO forums. You're likely to find some new friends. I know I have new friends that I hunt, fish and hand out with thanks to HSO.

[hookjunior]

Thanks for the advise so far. The archery league is something I've thought about and planned on looking into for this winter. I might have to look into the jaycees also never thought of that but I don't think the f.d. would be for me. Maybe I will have to push my daughters to join more activities too. Muskyhunter did you graduate from maccray? My wife is from raymond and graduted from there in '99.

[tunrevir]

Yep all the afforementioned advice is great! I have met some super folks here on FM that I may never have met otherwise. I haven't been able to make a gathering yet but look foreward to doing so. If the other people I meet that frequent FM are as stout as the folks I have already met then you will have no problems. Get to know your neighbors, the kids parents with whom your kids hang with. I met a guy last year that had hunting logos all over his truck and struck up a conversation and he runs a Centershot ministry teaching kids about archery and Christ a great program. You just never know. I like the rod and gun club and of course any of the civic entities that have been mentioned.

Tunrevir~

[musky hunter]

Sounds to me like you are on a healthy track. When kids are small, they consume most of your time. But they are still young and stay involved with the kids. By keeping the kids involved in after school activities you will meet other parents and they will have many things in common with them. Don't just drop them off and go, do the coaching, leading, etc. and you will meet all the parents. Then, find a way for mom and dad to do a little socializing, the guy thing will naturally happen. You are still a long way from being an empty nester, enjoy this phase to the max! (p.s. I read the other comments as well, lots of great ideas)

[Musky hunter 82]

hook, I grew up north of Grand Rapids. My wife is from this area she graduated in '95 I think.

[Abndoc]

Hook,

shoot me an [email protected]. I know exactly what your going through. I'm 31, moved back here after spending 8 years in the military. I have 4 kids, 7 and 4 year old boys, 6months old twins...and a very understanding wife when it comes to hunting and fishing. Always looking for someone to fish with or chase pheasants.

[leech~~]

hookj, things change over time for all of us. A lot of my old buddies no longer seem to have the drive anymore to get out and do all the things that I like to do I.E Fishing, Ice fishing, sleding,4 wheeling,Dual sport riding, hunting-rifle,bow,ducks,grouse,etc. So, I have met a lot of very great guys since joining this site that are in the same boat. It's hard to break in to new groups but keep checking from time to time and you will meet some nice people on here. I have met some from all over the state now to do things with. Leech~~

[not_nuf_time]

Muskie Hunter, you hit the nail on the head. More free time from kids age 6-9, whew, thats when you start getting busy till end of high school. Get into your kids activities, with all the other parents there, your bound to find people of mutual interest. If you can't coach or instruct, just be around the activities. You will meet people and come away with the best years of your life. My kids are now ending high school, so my free time is going to massively rise. Can't wait, but I will sure miss the daily interaction and activities. But I've got way to many hobbies so I'm not worried.

[bigbucks]

Certainly some of my best friends have come from church. Kids activities have definitely brought a few too.

[lakevet]

Church has been a good place for me. If you don't drink, smoke, or chase women (other than your wife), it frees up all that time and money for hunting and fishing!!

We have several hardcore predators at our church, it didn't take long to connect. Usually went fishing first to get to know them, hunting came later. My wife connected with their wives so she has fun too.

lakevet

[leech~~]

lakevet, bigbucks. It can leave a small church a little empty some Sunday mornings how ever!

[bigbucks]

I'm TOLD our church is about 80% female or children the first weekend in November. It's all hearsay to me...

[rbs]

lol...just like bigbucks...I have no idea what goes on in church during the hunting season....hope I am forgiven...lol

[bigbucks]

I'm always there with my kids the third weekend, of course all the women in our family are gone on their annual shopping weekend then...

[FL SNIPER]

I WOULD NOT TRUST ANYBODY ON THIS SITE...ESPECIALLY SO HAAAD AND TUNREVIR....STAY AWAY FROM THOSE GUYS...THEY ARE BAD NEWS...THEY WILL OUT-FISH AND OUT-HUNT YOU ANY CHANCE THEY GET!!!!!!! LOL....I have met two very close friends because of FM. ORGANIZE A LOCAL FM EVENT NEAR WHERE YOU LIVE AND YOU'LL PROBABLY MEET SOME GREAT GUYS WITH THE SAME INTERESTS AS YOU. FL SNIPER

[birdswacker]

Sniper when's the event?