relationship question (though it may be too late)

[JP Z]

My 2 cents which have been mentioned. This relationship is already over if your friend has made a list. You generally don't make the list unless you are already leaning towards getting out but just want reaffirmation that you are doing the right thing.

[echo2010]

Te Moment he made a pro/cons list, it was over. Cut her loose, do it fast.

If he was really in to her, he would accept her nd love her as is. He doesn't

Relationship over.

And being A woman myself. My suggestion is don't worry about letting her down easy. It isnt possible. be truthful and to the point.

[The Grebe]

Time to move on I'd say. When you have to start making lists of pros and cons, I'd say that the magic done left the building and it's down hill from there!

[Raider4ever]

Dump her. If you're making lists, it's over.

[Tyler23]

the spending money on dumb things would make me rip my hair out. everything i buy besides like a candy bar or something i try to look into it and make sure im going to use it otherwise theres no sense is wasting hard earned money on it. most of the rest of it sounds like a high mainteince person that needs someone to hold there hand for everything. that could get old in a hurry. sounds to needy but i guess its not my decision

[Surface Tension]

How much of that list can be attributed to your friend?

None, would probably his answer.

"but he's not up for debate, because he would have to live with himself with or without her."

And hows that working out?

[Shack]

You havent lived until you`ve reached your hand into a motel toilet to unplug it.

Dude, why did you not just call the front desk to come fix it or at least give you plunger?

[Sandmannd]

Originally Posted By: Mr. Seaguar

You havent lived until you`ve reached your hand into a motel toilet to unplug it.

Dude, why did you not just call the front desk to come fix it or at least give you plunger?

That's what I was thinkin but didn't want to wreck his day!!

[JeffB]

I'm sure I could make a long list of negatives for my wife and she could make a long one for me, but there is only one list that matters to me.

1. I love her.

2. She is a good wife.

3. She is a good mom.

We don't yell when we don't agee we negotiate and compromise.

And as far as the hand in the toilet thing thats why man invented tools. Plunger, coat hanger something but not your hand!!!

[BobT]

Te Moment he made a pro/cons list, it was over. Cut her loose, do it fast.

If he was really in to her, he would accept her nd love her as is. He doesn't

Relationship over.

And being A woman myself. My suggestion is don't worry about letting her down easy. It isnt possible. be truthful and to the point.

I agree but the statement, "If he was really in to her, he would accept her and love her as is." is a typical female response because she already figures she'll train him in right, later.

There is a saying that seems to fit in here with regard to relationships.

Men typically choose the woman they want and spend the rest of their lives trying their best to keep them from changing as they mature.

Women on the other hand accept their man as he is only to spend the rest of their lives trying to change him into what they really wanted in the first place.

Just poking a little fun, echo. In my marriages I've learned there is a sense of truth to these statements.

[candiru]

Like they said: if lists are being made it is over.

My own advice would be to get it over with before fishing opener.

[Chef]

Looks like she has some maturing to do and certainly some psycho-therapy.

The age difference is a lot.

Most importantly, does your friend want to be in a relationship or in a "Project"? Her issues are a project at this point and she might not be willing to take on her own responsibilities.

[Pickelfarmer]

Dump and Jump!!!!!! If it takes tell your 80 to find the perfect women then so be it. At least you got 80 years to look back on, knowing you did it your way.. Most who say hold on either are happy and content, or are already stuck and don't want to addmit a mistake. If he's not married and is having issues MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really its best for everyone. Just cuz she helps out in a pinch doesn't make her special. There should be a feeling of can't do without. If its not there then he should give her one last big kiss. A kiss GOODBYE!!!! I bet if he had a pebble in his shoe that bothered him everyday it wouldn't take long to get that shoe off and shake it up a little.

[Here-Kitty-Kitty]

Originally Posted By: shackbash

Originally Posted By: Mr. Seaguar

You havent lived until you`ve reached your hand into a motel toilet to unplug it.

Dude, why did you not just call the front desk to come fix it or at least give you plunger?

That's what I was thinkin but didn't want to wreck his day!!

WOW!!!!!! I play in some dirty water but that is nasty and that is not living.

[fishersofmen]

What alot people actually have now days is an "arrangement". They aren't truely in love they simply remain together because "it works".

[nofishfisherman]

If see the same thing Fisherofmen. I see alot of people who stay together as more of a buinsess arrangement then anything else. There is no real love. I wonder if they have kids just for the tax break.

Like it was said in other posts. Once it hurts to imagine living without her, thats when you know its for real.

If you're debating the issue then you are no where near that point. At that point the best you can do is work out your "arrangement" and hope you can live with it for 50 years.

Now my wife and I still argue and we both drive each other nuts at times but at the end of the day we both know we are a team and that we can both rely on each other 100% for absolutely anything.

[Farmboy1]

Wow, this whole thing is very funny.

If you are considering that she is not the right one, she isn't. Relationships are not easy, and there will always be a nagging doubt about it. Add in stress of any type (kids, money, jobs, etc) that we all have sooner or later, and you have half your stuff. You know what they say about why divorce costs so much, because it is worth every penny

I love my wife to death, but there are still days when I could just kill her. I have told her before, I always love her, but there are some days I sure don't like her!

[Jim916]

Relationships are tough. We never thought we would make it through our first year of marriage but we did. Now it is going on 6 years. Yes there are still fights, mostly over stupid things and we usually can't remember what even started them.

One thing that helped us whas a seminar called "Love and Respect". It makes you think about how males and females look at things differently. Males need respect and the females need to feel loved.

[BuckKiller]

If you love something set it free...

[Paul Waldowski]

If it's real you will know.

Same woman for 13+ years...

Here's my list and IMHO the only two things that really matter, at least too me.

1. I love her more today than I did yesterday, but not nearly

as much as I will tomorrow.

2. She makes me a much better person

[jltimm]

Is your wife reading over your shoulder?

[Duffman]

Cripes, this thread is like listening to the wifes daily drama report when she gets home from work. (youse guys know what I mean? drama, drama, drama)

To succeed, relationships must have two things;

1. Trust...complete and unwavering

2. Give and take...........Gentlemen, it will never work any other way.

My wife rocks, I think I scored the only woman in the world that hates shoppping. HATES shopping!

[fishersofmen]

The good ole "daily drama report" Lol. I know exactly what your saying Duffman. And my wife hates shopping too.....but I love it!! I have 3 times as many shoes as she does as well. Yea, yea, a little metro maybe.

[Duffman]

Quote:

I have 3 times as many shoes as she does as well. Yea, yea, a little metro maybe.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.......but we're talking Merrel, Keen, Rocky, LaCrosse aren't we???? LOL

[Here-Kitty-Kitty]

Cripes, this thread is like listening to the wifes daily drama report when she gets home from work. (youse guys know what I mean? drama, drama, drama)

I second this notion !!!!!!!!!!