You might be an FMer if..........

[msm1018]

if you lose weight just so you can make it out onto "early ice"

[hanson]

OK, I've got another one.

If you think stink bait is one of the 4 major food groups...You might be an FMer, or a serious river rat!

[Paul Waldowski]

If you've been down on your knees for the last 5 days praying for driveable ice on Winnie for the I.C.E Series and it actually worked.

[JohnMickish]

This one comes from cliffy awhile back on the muskie forum, but translates here too.

You Might be a Musky Nut.... (or FM'r/redneck)

1. If you hang lures on your Christmas tree as ornaments.

2. If you make a necklace out of split rings.

3. If your idea of a good present is an oversized lure for the wall.

4. If your first successful catch and release changed your life more than the night you lost your virginity.

5. If your always hauling around 12" of wood and aren't afraid to show it to anyone.

6. If you use 80 pound Tuff-Line as a belt.

7. If your child has a Reef Hawg in place of a rubber ducky for the bathtub.

8. If you test out lures in your hot tub in January!

9. If at work you spend more time on Musky websites than working.

10. If your girlfriend asks you to pull out your Tallywacker and you head for the tacklebox.

11. If your on the lake in 20mph wind and 3ft waves, and your wondering why nobody is fishing on such a great day.

12. If you refer to Muskies as "Fish" (i.e. "saw three fish today") as if there are no other species that swims.

13. If your favorite color is "firetiger".

14. If your credit card bill looks like a who's who of tackle dealers, marinas, lodges, restaurants and gas stations.

15. If you find that every day of the week you are wearing something to do with Muskies.

16. If you named your kids or pets Jake, Ernie, Bobbie, Eddie, Teddy, Burt.

17. If the last three books you read were Muskies on the Shield, Crankbait Secrets and Top 50 Muskie Lakes.

18. If your idea of bed time reading is a lake map.

19. If your lucky Muskie fishing shirt is only 25% percent of what it used to be and you still insist on wearing it.

20. If someone calls you a jerk and your first reaction is thinking "suick" then wonder how the "fish" are biting.

21. If you figure 8 a following Sunfish.

22. If you hate sunshine and pray for rain during your summer vacation.

23. If you can justify spending $30.00 on a lure.

24. If your net is big enough to hold any of the gals in the bar at closing time.

25. If you plan on spending ALOT more at the local Musky Show than you do on your wife/girlfriend's Christmas present.

26. If you've asked your employer if you can spend your flex dollars on suicks and St. Croix' rods.

27. If you wear the same underwear 6 days straight, because you caught your biggest fish ever wearing them 6 years ago.

28. If during an intimate moment with your significant other, you notice the cloud cover moving in and immediately "fake it".

29. If you always lie about what lake you were fishing and what lure you were using.

30. If you turned down an all expenses paid trip to anywhere because it fell on the same weekend as the musky opener.

31. If you skipped your high school graduation ceremony for the same reason.

32. If you can't feel your fingers or your toes and the snot dripping from your nose has frozen.

33. If you have spent 8hrs fishing and six hours driving to do it.

34. If you break ice with your boat.

35. If your net takes up 1/4 of your boat.

36. If you can't lift your tackle box over your head.

37. If you are the first one on the water and the last one off.

38. If your shoulder, back, arms and hands are sore and you don't care.

39. If your basement looks like a bucktail beauty parlor.

40. If your wife drives a Metro while you upgrade your towing capacity from 7,500 to 8,000 pounds

41. If your wife knows what a bulldog, jackpot and magic maker are.

42. If the live bait you use is bigger than most fish people catch.

43. If you practice casting out of your boat in December and work your lures across the snow.

44. If you get amusement out of getting follows from the cat.

45. If you have baits big enough to take a jet skier down.

46. If your tackle and boat are worth more than your house.

47. If you give your live bait names and talk to them.

48. If all your gear doesn't fit in your Musky room.

49. You have a Musky room.

50. If you teach your mother how to throw a Suick while she stands on the sofa.

51. If your children would rather go on a Musky trip rather than going to Disney World.

52. If you've ever heard of the Hulbert Bros.

53. You can name more Musky guides than family members

54. You claim you had a great day, yet didn't catch a thing but you "saw a biggun"

55. If you can fish for 14 hours a day for a week and call it a vacation.

56. Your favorite color on your marriage profile is: Holoform Perch

57. You know the difference between Slamr & Slammer

58. You have been married at least twice and didn't know the latest had left..

59. Your left arm is nearly twice the size of your right arm.

60. You speak in term of swirls and follows.

61. You think of Muskies as often as sex.

62. You set the hook in your sleep.

63. When a good day is any day on the water.

64. When you are talking about "Her" and it's not a woman it's a fish.

65. If you realize ALL your friends fish for muskies.

66. You see a front coming in and suddenly "Get Sick" at work.

67. You know what a "sewer" really is.

68. You come to work two heartbeats from death so you don't burn a sick day.

69. You fondle your baits when you aren't on the water.

70. You try and think of Musky things to do when the water gets hard.

71. If being called a "Good Stick" by another man doesn't alarm you.

72. A new rod is more important than new shoes.

73. You've been injured but you don't realize it until the next day.

74. If you can't figure out why people fish for Perch, Crappie, Walleye, Bass, Catfish, Carp....

75. You get up at 5:00 am, fish 14 hours, eat at a gas station, stay up all night drinking, and just do it again.

76. You think Musky slime smells better than your wife's perfume.

77. You say you like "Big Girls"

78. You fish past a dock with female sunbather's and just give a quick glance.

79. You have a son named Jake and a dog named Andrusia.

80. If you have a map of your favorite lake above your bed.

81. If your babies first toy was a Musky bait with the hooks removed.

82. You've ever said "Cass Lake is frozen yet Cave Run is only two days away"

83. You "Borrow" from your kids bike to make a bucktail or leadrer.

84. If you wear a MuskieFIRST T-shirt to bed.

85. If you know the numbers to Reeds, Rollie & Helen's & Thorne Bros. without looking them up.

86. You're kids goldfish resembles "Live Bait"

87. If you chose to spend the day in a boat with "Thick Shady"

88. Someone needs help with CPR and you get a camera.

89. If you test lures at a pool, work or in the bathtub.

90. When you are more tired after a day of fishing than you have EVER been at work.

91. When you tell someone honestly you've seen the state record.

92. When catching a 10 pound Pike isn't all that exciting.

93. You troll so that you can rest and eat.

94. The holiday picture get developed when you get the first legal of the year.

95. You don't even bother to unhook the trailer from the truck.

96. Your fuel to start the fire is lure making mistakes.

97. When you have a Musky tattoo on your chest.

98. You think about fishing for Muskies every night before bed.

99. You pay $2500.00 to enter a tournament.

100. You buy a "figertiger" colored sweater for your girlfriend small dog and the dog is never cold.

101. If you have to dip your rod in the lake every few casts to remove ice.

102. You hate warm spells in the winter because they may turn the fish off.

103. A bright, sunny day [PoorWordUsage]es you off.

104. You called in sick after returning from vacation.

105. If you call the R & H magazine "The Bible"

106. Your bathroom reading material consists of a few catalogs, Musky Hunter & Esox Angler.

107. If your friend call you names because of how much fishing you get away with.

108. You've been to the hospital to get a hook removed from yourself.

109. Your wife asks "Who was that?" and you say "Sponge Bob" she asks "What's his real name?" "Dunno?"

110. Your willing to shovel someone else 100' long driveway so you can get the boat in one last time...

[iffwalleyes]

I just thought of another one tonight after I did this.

If you program your favorite ice fishing store in your cell phone just incase you have a emergancy on the ice and need to order something you might be a... (like I said I did that tonight)

[WILDEYES]

If all your maggots freeze and the only way to use them is to put them in your mouth to make them pliable enough to bait your hook...THEN YOU MAY BE AN FMER.

[wall_guy_101]

if you've ever had to use snow instead of forgotten toilet paper....

[M.T. Bucket]

...if you're wife quit making dishes with rotini noodles so you would stop thinking about your auger during dinner.

[psegriz]

If you've ever put your truck thru the ice more than once.

If you leave your portable on the lake and an unexpected wind comes up and you know the exact spot where it's at the next morning.

[Dave]

If you mounted your underwater camera as a back up device in your truck.

[riverrat56]

the only action you get come from a bobber

if at a party u sneek away to go on FM

[Fishn'Lady]

If you wear your Princeton Tech headlamp you bought from FM.com to pick out bones while eating northerns. (true story)

[Wables]

You pick up your 8 year old daughter from school, and she is mad because you smell like fish and she didn't get to go. (Happened today.)

[dsludge]

"If you schedule your work hours around your fishing times."

"If every christmas gift you received was either ice-fishing gear or cold weather clothing."

dsludge

[finsup]

If your portable doubles as your tent during the summer...

[fishermn]

Or if you have ever thought about using your hunting blind as a portable...

[SCUMFROG]

You would rather go fishing then have sex.

[Quickstrike]

if you spend more heating your ice shack then you do your house. (which is true in my situation)

[B. Amish]

...if you've driven yourself to the emergency room with a magnum-jointed rapala embedded in your forearm....

....if when someone asks you where the fish are biting, and you reply by saying, "in the mouth"...

[Frozenfoot]

If you've stolen batteries from a gameboy to power your G.P.S......you might be

[Traxxx]

There is more bait than food in your fridge.

[EBass]

These are the best.

If you hit ALT+Tab to hide FM from your boss while he's walking by....

[Fishn'Lady]

If you head to the Onamia emergency room at 3 am after getting a rapala treble hook imbedded in your finger while night fishing on Mille Lacs, and it's NOT coming out no matter what you do. And then having the nurses call the doc back to the hospital after just going home and he proceeds to yank on it and then ends up cutting one end off and pushing it through...you might be an FM'r.

Wow that was long, and a very true story.

[dsludge]

...if you are fishing alone a great spot and someone looks accross the lake and says to his buddy, "Doesn't that dude know he ain't gonna catch nothing over there?"

Actual quote. Three days later I went to try and find the spot to check it out.

Nice work, looked like no one had ever fished there! Took me a half hour to find the single hole. Don't worry, I've never told anyone and I released it. Never seem to be able to cover my tracks as well though - big feet and pack around 240 in the winter. I just drill a different hole a ways off and leave it exposed.

dsludge

[ozzy]

If you have sat on a bucket in -40 degree temps to relieve yourself...

If your toilet seat has pictures of fishing lures...