Deer Camp Bloopers........

[Coach1310]

....help me make it to opener. I just can't seem to think of anything else lately so lets hear some Deer Camp Blooper stories. I'll start it off.

It was quite a few years ago, but here is the story. It was opening day, about 11:30am or so. All of us were back in camp except one(camp back then was a bus converted to a camper parked in a gravel pit). As my uncle Larry was making his way to camp he saw a doe and two fawns sneaking their way over a ridge that is right next to the gravel pit. The pit is surrounded by some real thick stuff. The pit is about 40 ft deep from base to top. As he shot, of course we knew the deer were close so everyone went scrambling for guns, clips, knives you name it. You can about imagine 8 guys with beers, sandwhiches, chips etc in their hands trying to find their guns, get their bearings straight etc. It was chaos. Anywho as we all scramble to get our stuff here come the doe and two fawns running right along the edge of the pit straight above us. One member of our group, who has a crushed hip and limps alot(we call him "Fred the Gutter" as he loves to gut) tries running up the hill with his knife after the deer. When the three were about to go out of site one of the fawns slips, falls down the side of the pit and slams into the back of a pickup. The fawn broke both back legs and one of our members went over to finish it off. That fawn came to rest not 10 feet from the bus!!!! It is the only deer to this day we had to drag "out of camp" just to gut. My recollection doesn't do this story justice, but we still laugh hysterically about it every year. Lets hear some of your stories!!!

[blue_healer_guy]

Not bringing toilet paper! Wasted a good pair of gloves!

[love to hunt]

#1)

MY father and brother-in-law have stands very close to each other (150 yards) with the thickest woods I have seen to date between them. One year they were out on the second morning and my brother-in-law heard shots from dad's area and readied him self for leftovers. Not long after he sees 2 does and a smaller buck come barreling through followed by a nice buck. He steadied him self, raised up, pushed off the safety and laid the cross hairs on the deer when...plop...it fell over dead. Confused he opened his chamber only to verify that he did not fire a shot. Pretty soon dad came rumbling through and said he shot at a buck but lost the blood trail and John said don't worry he is right there pointing to the animal only 30 yards from his stand. I think he had a heart attack.

#2)

I took the same brother-in-law to my favorite hunting spot which is about a 45 minute wheeler ride from our shack. He had not been there before and had not shot a deer that year. I figured to put him in the honey hole for a good morning opportunity.

I dropped him off and gave very specific instructions; walk down this trail 250 steps until you see a large pine on your right with the branches stripped up about 5 feet. It is right on the edge of the trail "you can't miss it" sit there. With that I left for my stand.

(He tells this part better but here goes)

So he is walking down this trail, in an area he doesn't know, with his little flashlight, counting 125...126...127...128. It is a darker then normal morning with no moon and...Poof...out went his light. He said his exact words were s!$^. After a frantic flash light beating it came back on and then he thought what the heck number was I on? Now he is a little spooked and...Poof... out went the light again. Again with the beating, it came back on, and he hastily started out again. He found the tree and verified the spot by the Tootsie Roll wrapper that must have fell out of my pocket and sat there.

Once settled on his bucket, he sat there in the dark, thinking "wow, is it dark out here...and quite" when the first t-wolf howled. He proclaims that he never stopped praying until the sun started to show it self in the east. At which point a nice doe showed up and he realized after squeezing the trigger that he forgot to load his gun...

#3)

After a particularly successful opening day, we had a little party at our shack that some folks took a little too seriously. My brother in particular had a lot of "fun". Of course I wasn't about to let him sleep in the next day and roused him at 4:30. We threw down some pancakes grabbed our stuff and off we went.

We had agreed to meet at the truck around 10:30 to go in for lunch. At 11:30 when he didn't show up I figured I should go see what the deal was. Upon approaching his stand I realized he was sleeping, and figured I would seize the opportunity to have a little fun. While standing under his stand trying to decide what fun we could have a doe showed up, and yes it came to me.

It was only after I fired a shot from my 300 Win Mag and took a Stanly thermos to the head that I figured out my thinking was probably not at the highest level. He literally screamed, soiled himself and simultaneously kicked the thermos off the stand which landed square dead center on my noggin. I nearly passed out.

After the headaches cleared, the drawers were cleaned, and time has passed, we still laugh over the event.

[FarByondDrivn]

Man, I've been there with the gloves. Its amazing how I don't seem to have a matching pair anymore!

[Gissert]

I have elk camp blooper that I still chuckle about.

It was the day before season. We had set up camp the prior day, and most of us were feeling the near 11,000 foot altitude.

One of the other hunters and I decided to do a little recon work. He had not bee in this territory before, so I was going to show him some old skidder trails near camp that have held elk in the past.

We hopped into my Bronco and made the short trip to the trail head. We walked in about a mile, and my stomach started to rumble. One of altitude's effects is it can really mess with your guts until you get acclimated. This was happening to me.

Like an (Contact Us Please), I left my roll of TP in the truck. We started to head back to the truck. About 1/4 mile from where we were parked, I sent my partner ahead alone - I had pressing business to tend to - and it would not wait.

There was a stump, with some small pines around it that I had picked for my "job-site." I finished the job, and cleaned myself up as best I could with some sticks and leaves.

I went back to camp, and got a bunch of ribbing from the rest of camp. In fact, I still get reminded about it.

The next morning was opening day, and we were walking back up the same trail. It had dropped to about 10 degrees, and everything was frozen. As we walked in, a hunter flashed us with a small flashlight to alert us to his presence. He was sitting right where I had done my business the day before! I bet he was sure surprised at what he found when the sun came up. He was NOT there when we came back out, LOL.

[kentuck_ike]

Thats why I always carry a red hanky, not white. I don't want to get shot with my pants down.

[McGurk]

My Dad an I were the first ones in for lunch and were outside enjoying a beautiful day in the yard waiting for the rest of the party to come in. We had unloaded and cased our rifles as it is a sort drive in the truck to the house. As we are sipping coffee and talking about nothing in particular, my Dad sees a doe with her nose down trotting slowly along the edge of a woods across a slough (+/-100 yards), relatively close to where we had just been posting. Neither of us had had any luck that morning and thought we'd lob a shot at it, knowing we were the only ones that would have been in the woods at that time, and we were both right there watching this unfold. No sooner had we realized that we'd need to uncase and reload our rifles to get anything done a LARGE buck stepped out of the woods, walking a little stiff legged and looking like he had just finished his yearly rut commitment. By that time we were both scrambling for rifles, hushing our voices (like it mattered) and attempting to get a shot off. Needless to say, as we fumbled with our deadly weapons like fools.

Adrenaline flowing like mad.

Loaded rifle in my hand.

Scope dialed to 3x.

Looking for a clear shot.

Empty chamber.

The doe nosed her way back into the woods, followed by the stud buck, to see if he can fill out his dance card.

No Deer, Good Story.

[UdeLakeTom]

A good friend told me on one of the snowy openers, he had to do a quick relief job in the woods. He hid himself under a pine tree, did his job, paperwork and all. Then he stood up to adjust his pants, only to hit his head on a branch. 6" of snow in your trousers from the inside is not a good feeling. The strangest part is he told everybody what happened. Good ol' Jake.

[nitroant]

Well, lets see we have a few, none by me......yet

1) One year the guy responsible for buying all the meat for camp loaded it all up in a cooler in his basement and left it waiting for help to bring the cooler up from the basement. Everybody got there and things all got thrown in the truck, everybody looked around, nothing else to throw in, must have it all. Saturday morning they ask Dick where the cooler is with all the meat, he says its the green one on the porch, there is not green cooler on the porch...... He went to town and bought all the meat all over again, and called his wife to make sure she put the other stuff back in the freezer.

2) One of our guys packs his suitcase up with license, bullets, orange cloths, ect.... and manages to leave it in the beadroom, gets to the shack, can find his suit case, goes to town calls home, wife asks why his suitcase is still in the bedroom. He got to drive all the way home, kiss the wife grab the suitcase and drive back. He got back just in time to watch the sun come up.

3) Same guy as above, very next weekend, forgets his gun.

We also have several stories of guys putting the cross hairs on a deer and pulling the trigger......click....no bullets.

[Froggy4371]

Happened to my brother his first year of hunting. The got up and got out to the woods and everyone started walking to there stands. They got to my brothers stand and he looked at dad and said can i have my slugs now. Dad looked at him and said that you bring your own slugs in the woods. So my brother sat all morning with no shells for his gun. No one could loan him any since they all had 12 guages and he had a 20. Funny thing is another guy did the same thing but he got 2 shells from everyone since he had a 12 guage.

[McGurk]

There was a member of our old hunting party who had not SEEN a deer for about 5 years. Posting on drives, during drives, morning and evening posting, NOTHING. It became a pretty funny joke as we all saw deer all of the time, but not him.

During one particularly successful drive we had kicked up deer left and right and straight ahead and behind; all over. He was posted ahead, and we were approaching his stand, with him in it. We had yelled to him there were deer coming and he yells back "WHERE ARE THEY???" One guy yells back "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!" He yells out "WHERE? I DON'T SEE 'EM!!!" There had to be at least 4 deer running straight to him and he didn't see a thing. So now it's "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" after a drive when something is kicked up but not seen.

He has since gotten deer and our original party has split into 2 parties, but we will make a run up to see them late on Sat night once every couple of years. Good to see the originals.

[BigWadeS]

LMAO at that one, just imagining being in both positions, the laughing until ouch, and then the time to take a nap and then OMG...that was great

[iamgmc]

years ago we awoke to a blizzard opening morning,the good news was we were hunting the last corn field left for miles,when the shooting started the deer ran for this corn field.When we all met up there was a foul smell in the air and my father said he noticed it to.He said he went down wind 150 yards to relieve himself about that time my brother looks in my dads hood to find out he was carrying it around the whole time ,lots of tears and sore sides over that one.

[almostthere!]

Here is one of the best I've heard:

It was a good 3A opener. The brother-in-laws and their friends had a successful morning. So that evening one of the friends decided to make a good deer stew for dinner. Well, let's just say that the fella never made that particular stew before and he is not the normal cook at camp.

The next morning, as one of the brother-in-laws was sitting in his stand, he witnessed something very odd. First he heard a noise crashing from the top of a ravine. He thought it was a deer and readied himself. Then all of a sudden, here comes the fella, who made the stew, flying down the ravine at warp-3 and straight into the creek below. It was cold and there were snow on the ground, but the fella took a bath and washed his clothes and undies for quite some time. Oh, every one that ate his stew had diarrhea that morning.

The fella was never allowed to prepared food again.

[fishnhooks]

One time after we got back to camp after going into town to for supper and we had that stuff called snow on the ground, one guy gets out of the truck and says "Hey look at these fresh deer tracks in the snow, that thing was just here!! Then he starts to follow them around and starts describing where it went. The deer came over here and then over here, he says and as he is following them he walks over to one of the four wheelers and gets this funny look on his and face says and it went under the four wheeler. They were rabbit tracks He hears about that one every year

"hooks"

[deerhuntr8]

Quote:

---

Not bringing toilet paper! Wasted a good pair of gloves!

---

I hear ya. A couple of years ago my brother and I went pheasant hunting. All of a sudden he bolts for the nearest trees. He came back a couple minutes later with a relieved look on his face and says, "Dont even ask me where my gloves are." We still have a good laugh about that one.

[colonel42]

About ten years ago a buddy of mine that I have hunted with since day one got married to a girl that hunted. She showed up at camp and everyone was a little tenative on how they should act having a woman in camp. Well it didn't take long to find out that she was one of the guys in her language and actions. For some reason my dad didn't get to hunt opening day so we put her in his stand. Well the next day my dad comes in from his stand (kind of like the Three Bears) someone was in my stand yesterday etc... someone throw tampons all around my stand. He thought everyone in the camp was screwing around with him. Then this woman stepped up and says they were her's. Everyone kind of went OHHHH and she said wait I use them for scent Again everyone went OHHHHH. She did clarify that she puts tinks 69 on them and hangs them in a tree. Now everyone in the group is thinking hey that not a bad idea. Anyway we all sit and giggle around the camp fire remembering the first day she hunted with us. She is a great hunter and tons of laughter. Since she has been hunting now even my wife has taken up the sport. Sad to say my wife showed everyone up last year by shooting her first deer. Biggest that has come out of our camp in more then 10 years.

[96trigger]

I understand the girl in camp thing, my brother is seriously dating a female who loves to hunt and fish, it might be weird next year. Anyhow, my Story.....

My second year hunting my uncle took me out with him, it was opening morning and there was a big snowstorm. We could barely see 100 yards in front of us. I got to my stand and an hour later I though I saw a buck and a doe running across a field. I hear shots and wait for the deer to come back. Nothing shows up so I start walking towards my uncle and I meet him in the field where their are two deer. The buck looked like it would have been a nice one, but when I got there I didn't see any antlers, just two dead deer. As I got closer I started to notice that one of the deer had something on its head, looked like like small forks, there was no way that it was the same buck, as soon as I got there though, I soon figured out what had happened, my uncle shot the antlers off one of the nicest bucks that I had ever seen. We still give him dump about that.

[colonel42]

Have to giggle at the picture of your dog it looks just like mine.

[hookset]

My buddy was back at camp early on the coldest opener we have ever had sitting in his underware with the washer and dryer running. I asked him what was going on he said he was cold and just warming up his clothes. this seemed fishy but I let it go. A whole year later after about 7 beers he fest-up as to what really happened....He was taking a healthy one over a small suspended log when the log shattered(probably because of the cold) and he spashed down into the still steming pile of poo. He had no way of cleaning himself up because of the snow and squish factor, so he pulled up his pants and left the woods with his head hanging down. It was a long uncomfortable drive back to the shack where he showered and did some laundry.We still almost cry when the story is brought up again in the shack.

joe

[MNmikew]

LOL! I once sold my knit hat for $5 to a buddy.

[Coach1310]

Great posts guys. We wouldn't have much of a post here if it wasn't for those wonderful, untimely and ill prepared bodily duties.

[delmuts]

a number of years back , a goup of us,( nine people) would take the first week of bow season of to hunt. we set up camp at a camp ground.( note!! the out house was about 50yds. away! this is important! ) there was always great food, beverages, and cards. the one guy breaks out a quart jar of home grown jalapeno peppers.man they went down good! he and i ate about 2/3 of them. the next morning as we sat in the mess tent having coffee, i noticed he was kind of red in the face and sweating. sundenly the cramps and pressure attacked me too! we had a stare down as to who would break for the out house first. the pain an pressure was BAD ! he went first!! we could hear the moaning . he came back and said he had left some of the frost on the one seat for me. i was dying trying to get there before?? i made it! the frost felt soooo good! and not much paper was needed! as i came back to the tent, i noticed a butt print in the frost on the bumper of my truck! then there were two!

[jlm]

LOL! Great stories guys! Lets hear some more!

[Eye Slayer]

1.) The first year my wife hunted with our group of guys, I shot a doe at last light. We posted my wife on the edge of the woods as a point of reference as we blood-trailed the doe into the woods. She had a flashlight and her rifle so we figured she would be fine. Well, we ended up trailing the deer nearly 200yards into the woods before we decided to let it be for the night. We came out of the woods, following the reflective markers we hung in the trees. As we started nearing the edge of the woods, all we heard was, "JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!!" It turns out that right around the time that we lost vocal contact with her, her flashlight petered out and she swears she heard animals (in her mind they were wolves, I am sure) moving around her... So, she decided to sing Xmas carols at the top of her lungs to scare them away.

2.) My buddy was hunting from a stump in the middle of a clearcut when nature got the best of him. So, he leaned his rifle against the stump, dropped his drawers, and let fly. Well, half-way through his business, a pair of does walked out not 50 yards from. He said he didn't even bother with pulling up his pants, but he wished he would have because he couldn't get his feet properly set for the shot. He ended up missing the shot, so we all give him a hard time...