The Man Rules

[DonBo]

We've all heard the "rules" from a women's perspective. Here are the "Man's" rules.

Please note, these are all numbered #1 on purpose!

#1 Men are NOT mind readers.

#1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complain about you leaving it down.

#1 Quit putting the toilet paper roll on backwards.

#1 Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing tides. Let it be.

#1 Crying is blackmail.

#1 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this.

Subtle hints don't work!

Strong hints don't work.

Obvious hints don't work!

Just say it!

#1 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

#1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

#1 Anything we said 6 monthes ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comemnts become null and void after 7 days.

#1 If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

#1 If something we said can be interpretted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

#1 You can ask us to do something, but don't tell us how to do it. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.

#1 Whenever possible, please say whatever it is you have say during a commercial.

#1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

#1 All men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach and pumpkin for example are fruits. We have no idea what mauve is.

#1 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

#1 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you're lying, but it is not worth the hassle.

#1 If you ask a question you don't want to hear the answer too, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

#1 When we go out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

#1 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as fishing or baseball.

#1 You have enough clothes.

#1 You have too many shoes.

#1 I am in shape. Round IS a shape.

#1 Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know we really don't mind? It's like camping.

[reelemin]

LOL - wow - I agree with all except #1 and #1 -

[DeeDee]

Thats so funny! Those are the same two I disagree with!

[glenn57]

i agree with donbo in its entirety, including #1 and #1. LOL good one. great read. funny.

[DonBo]

It's funny that both you girls disagree with #1 and #1 because those are the most important to us.

[Iambjm]

I never agree with anything a man says...............unless it's let's go shopping. Example: fishing gear, boat, atv, snowmobile, car, etc, etc, etc.

[UdeLakeTom]

#1 is the best rule..by far.

[machohorn]

< Stands firm on #1, unless wifey gives me "The Look"

[MN Shutterbug]

Seriously, I think all women should have to memorize this list before getting married. If nothing else, I'm sure they could somehow be incorporated in the wedding vows.

No funny face here, cuz I'm serious.

[reelemin]

My Godson's bestman actually read something similar to this, to the bride at the wedding reception.

[JeffB]

I'm still trying to figure out the 16 colors. Red, Yellow, Blue, Green, Orange, black, white, grey, brown, gold, and silver. Yep pretty sure there are just eleven. Some fishermen have been fooled into thinking chartreuse is a color but its really just light bright green.

[JeffB]

Ooops up to 12 (purple)

[upnorth]

I worked in a knitting mill for a while, there are colors that only exist in yarn.

[Cold_blood]

thats funny i don't care who you are

[hondarider550]

That is a great list... Definitely #1 is the number 1 choice...

Kinda like the two rule statement...

Rule #1 The man is always right.

Rule #2 Refer to rule #1...

[BuckKiller]

lol this is a great post!

I think my mom needs to read this.

[Rebel9921]

Im surprised theres NOTHING on that list about fishing/hunting...

[machohorn]

Rebel, that is what is known as the "UNSPOKEN RULE" every one knows is, no one speaks it.

[Rebel9921]

unspoken??? I dont think so... I do know of few incidents... I even had someone insult me about my obsession with muskies... and her expression wasnt even all that positive... indicating that I really should cut the obsession down... and thats a heart-breaker...

[machohorn]

Reb, are you sure you still have your "man Card" in your back pocket? lol

[Rebel9921]

Oh... very SURE of that...

If anything, it just steps up my obsession to other level...

(Imitating Al Bundy) Shes gonna PAY for saying that!!! LOL

[ole matty]

unspoken??? I dont think so... I do know of few incidents... I even had someone insult me about my obsession with muskies... and her expression wasnt even all that positive... indicating that I really should cut the obsession down... and thats a heart-breaker...

exactly why i m havin hard time find a girlfriend...

[gatorhunter]

The "unspoken rule" is that the man always has the last word!

"Yes dear!"

[mngirl]

For men, who have such a hard time telling us how they feel in general, why is it they have to have the last word? .

[leech~~]

mngirl, Oh really! Is that why I never, never, ever hang up when my wife calls, even when she says good by! Because there is always a 'Oh ya" after the good by! every single time!