The Wife or Hunting which one needs to go??

[slimngrizzly]

People are attracted to PASSIONS and those who have them.

If you give up your passion, youll be miserable, and your marriage will suffer anyway. Your wife needs her own passion to balance the time that you are enjoying yours. That will strengthen your bond.

Hunting and Fishing.... its who you are, she needs to respect that! Who is she? Figure it out.... and as a husband, YOU need to respect that.

[rattlem'up]

although i'm not married yet, My girlfriend hasn't had a problem with me goin hunting or fishing whenever i want. Heck she even lets me go to christmas sometimes and eat vist little bit then leave. She does come with once and a while and enjoys both hunting and fishing. once in a while i do take a break and stay home with her and suck up so i dont feel as guilty leaving all the time.

[tealitup]

My suggestion, from a happily married man, is to sit down with her in the beginning of a season with a calender. Find "your weekends" and a "couples" weekend.

[snapcrackpop]

Basically its time to have a good conversation with her about it. Let her know it's important for you to go hunting and fishing. Then figure out what her interests are and how much time you each need.

How long you been married? If it goes south, fix it before kids come along...

For me I went as much as possible at first, now she expects me to go hunting almost every weekend and its a bonus (to her) if I don't. So I've worn her down...but we're both happy now!

[Busdrivers33]

I would recommend having her plan stuff to do on those weekends. If you have kids, find someone to watch them 1 or 2 of the weekends and tell her to go out with her friends. In my case anyway, it's not really a problem of me being gone, but more her being stuck with the kids 3 weekends in a row. So finding a sitter for the weekend can be rewarding.

On opening weekend every year, my wife has a friend of ours over with her 3 kids for what they call, a pre christmas weekend. I know, a little early, but my wife loves christmas. So they all get the house decorated, the tree up and they watch christmas movies and do other things all weekend.

The second weekend I find a sitter for the kids and she has friends over saturday for the night.

My wife now is to the point where she can't wait for me to leave, because she is just as excited as I am for the weekend.

Bus

[Bear55]

They should always know well in advance of your outdoor habits, that ways its not a surprise. I made sure to let my wife know when we were just dating that I would be gone certain dates every year and also have many outdoor activities year round. If you gave up certain weekends when you first meet they seem to expect that you skip this or that every year, remember once you give something up it will always be much harder to get it back. The priest story was great and should be taught in all marriage classes.

It is also about balance, make sure to do a little azz kissing before you leave and when you come home. Like others have said let her go on a little shopping spree or a night out with the girls. I wouldn't even mind sending her on a trip once in a while just so I can have my time in the woods. You also have to remain responsible enough to know when you should be home helping out, we had a little one this year so right away I knew my hunting time would be drastically cut down. I still got out in the woods a lot and now I have a new hunting partner once he gets a little older.

[swedishpimple]

Well....It looks like I was not the only guy with this issue. It depends on the day I guess....she was mad for two days then last night she told I need to go and get some deer. Women....talk about complicated creatures.

[archerystud]

Women....talk about complicated creatures.

AMEN brother.

[pinkfloyd4ever]

I second that amen

[McGurk]

Hunting and fishing were pre-existing conditions when we started dating. You just have to be up front about ALL of your hobbies, and I wish my Dad would have told me that little nugget of wisdom instead of learning it on my own. If all Dads/Uncles/Brothers would pass that on there would be a lot fewer headaches when it comes to this subject.

I wish I had better advice for you from here on out, and I'd hate to see anyone end a relationship over this. Try to come to an understanding, and it will be a give and take resolution more than likely. If ending it is the only solution, do it before kids are involved; but I gotta think that there is some common ground to be met at.

Push her to find some hobbies for herself, and make sure you give her time to do them too. Scrapbooking, Photography, Antiqueing, Travelling with other ladies; there are options for her, and they won't be cheap. But neither are yours.

[Jaspernuts]

You didn't train properly during the "courting" period! My wife knows that openers are sacred and if we have to visit the family it won't be on a opener. She actually likes it when I leave because she has some time for herself. I also took her ice fishing and now she really enjoys it, even let me buy a permanent house and now we can "camp" together in the winter.

[tealitup]

If you have to ask the question...

[MN Shutterbug]

Push her to find some hobbies for herself, and make sure you give her time to do them too. Scrapbooking, Photography, Antiqueing, Travelling with other ladies; there are options for her, and they won't be cheap. But neither are yours.

Great idea. Buy her a good camera and have her join the Photo Sharing forum. This will give her plenty to learn and plenty to do. She may need her own computer, too.

Or, another good idea, for a lot less expense, put up a bunch of bird feeders, buy her a couple bird books and have her join the Bird Watching forum. Of course, she'll still probably need her own computer.

[fish4cats]

You need to work out a balance. I chose to go hunting all the time during my first marriage and she ended up leaving me and there is not a day that goes by that I dont regret it. I have 3 kids and I should have stayed home more to save my marriage for their sake if not my own also.

[deerminator]

Ditto on the make sure she gets her time too. Every situation is different. I love to bowhunt, and gun hunt every now and then, for whitetail deer. It's pretty much my only hobby. That essentially boils down to a couple of months a year, and I've explained to my wife, that the other 9-10 months or so of the year, I spend every waking moment of my free time with her and our kids or doing things for/with them. So, if I can have just a little time for myself for a small part to the year, I'd really appreciate it and it would make me happier and more productive for them. Logical reasoning, believe it or not, works wonders with females. Plus once my kids are old enough to hunt in a few years, I have a free ride to carefree hunting. : )

[fasternu]

I take Pheasant opener, Deer opener, and fishing opener. She gets a girls weekend with the friends sometime else to make up for me being gone. Yes, I sacrifice and don't go hunting every weekend, but I'll live (more happily with her as well). Ask yourself, is the relationship worth it, or is hunting more important? Only you can give the real answer.

[bottom-bouncer]

what works for us is first there was plenty of warning this is who i am and what I do second every wed we have date nite nothing huge. just dinner and some time alone. I always make sure the stuff that needs to be done around the house is done not put off untill I feel like doing it. I also try to make sure to invovle her when ever possible. I never hear any complaints ever. And I have hunted every day for the past 4 weeks. I just make sure that when I am at home she comes first

[picksbigwagon]

Communication is the key. I like to plan ahead, it drives my friends nuts, but I have found that when I give my wife 2 months notice, then one month notice, and then from two weeks on, I start talking about it, reminding her etc. that way when my pheasant, deer or fishing weekends come, it goes pretty flawless. (except for the year of the Mouse, ugh!!!)

I am curious as to your wife being a vegetarian, is she becoming a Vegan? Is that the real root of her issues with you hunting? You need to talk with her about this, the sooner the better. My wife knows I am not a mind reader and I remind her of that constantly. You and your wife are adults, talk this out, calmly.

My free time is limited, we have three kids (7, almost 6 and almost 1) so I understand my weekends and long extended trips are a number of years away. My wife also travels a lot for work, leaving me flying solo with three kids to get out the door every morning. We compromise, I think you and your wife can talk this out and compromise as well. Your wife didn't marry a vegetarian and it doesn't sound like you are leaning that way anytime soon, you two need to come to some kind of understanding. You said I do for a reason and she did too, maybe you need to take some time and find those reasons again, and maybe new ones too.

Take care and I wish you and your wife the very best.

[mn_archer]

I am in the exact opposite situation. My fiance loves to hunt and as said above, many hunting camps don't work well with the ladies, which I never understood.

That is fine. Mainly we hunt together or if she isnt going I go by myself now.

I hunt a lot and get out of state at least 4 times a year. This year I have been on an Elk hunt, bighorn sheep hunt, deer hunted at least 6 weekends with bow and rifle, duck hunted several weekends and at least 6 evenings and just came back from SD Pheasant hunting for 4 days. I am going to SD at least one more time and am thinking KS later this winter as well. No, she hasn't been with on al of these and the only time she got out of state was in SD but we had some great hunts together and spent a great weekend at camp ripley where she got her first archery deer. I'll try to post a pic..

Yeah, she can get little nervous about me being gone, but I make it up to her. It is the little things that count brother. Dinner out, movies, make her dinner, help clean the house, put the dishes away, it all helps. Remember flowers. flowers work so dang well that they should be illegal! lol

If you truly love this woman, and I suspect you do, make it work. True loves are very few and far between and you will regret letting this come between you if it gets to that point.

Good luck!

michael

[mrklean]

Mike what job do you have that lets you get out that much??? Wish i had that job

[mn_archer]

Sales rep-

Work mostly out of my home. 100% commission, no paid vacation but can take off whenever I want. They let me bank cash with them so before hunting season I work my but off to get enough saved up to keep the paychecks coming. Last two years I've taken off the entire month of September!

Sorta fell into the job while going to law school. Decided I'll get into the productive society sooner. Probably should have stayed in school for the $$$, but I couldn't be happier.

my fiance is a school teacher with the summer off so we do a lot of camping/fishing/hiking. The past couple years we have spent a week in MT hiking in the Beartooth wilderness area.

michael

[Alleyoop]

I went moose hunting & deer hunting this year....so my wife said that she is going to Cancun in Jan 09 with a girlfriend....I said " have a great trip "....I spent my $$ walking backwards thru the slash & sitting in and near swamps...she would rather spend her $$ and time sitting on the beach and swimming in the ocean...we are both happy in this arrangement, although she is apt to get hit on by beach Romeos, the only hit I get is, I hope, from my .30-06 recoil...women & swamps don't mix..

By the way I got a nice 4 point buck...

[mrklean]

cool cool what kind of sales? Im in roofing sales and the fall into winter really die so i just need to make sure i dont use all my vacation during the summer and i can take some time off during the fall.

[UdeLakeTom]

Asking relatives wouldn't have been too much of a help in my case...Dad was an old German...I will hunt and fish and you will clean what I bring home type of a guy. He was the man and Mom lived with it. An entirely different generation. My wife knew I liked to hunt and fish and was ok with the fishing because the kids and her could do it also. I refrained from deer hunting until the kids moved from home and also because I lost my place to stay for hunting. Now I am back to hunting and after a little fuss last year with the hunting group, I was ready to call it quits again. She wouldn't let me. It was more her idea the last couple of years for me to go then it has been mine.

I guess after 35 years, she wants me out of the house more now.

[UdeLakeTom]

My son-in-law is moving back from Florida to get into metal roofing sales.