Wife (or) Husband stories...

[DARK30]

This one is true...

I come home from work. I ask if "I" can wash my coat. My wife says "sure, I've been doing plenty of laundry..whats a little more I guess" I go to let the dog out and decide to wash my shirt also. I go back in and ask if "I" can wash the shirt too and did she start the washer already. "not yet" she says, "put it in". I say "OK" and open the door. Then she says to me says..."Thats the dryer"

I love my Wife..doggone good cook too

[not_nuf_time]

The women at my work give my wife a hard time about not liking doors, she says "why do you say that?". So one told her that one day I came to work and told them I said "I think my wife hates doors" they asked me why and I replied "seems like everytime she comes home and walks through the door she starts complaining about what we did or didn't do or need to do."

[fishing tech]

Ok, My brother in law won a prize package from a local radio station with this story. It is my story and I have not won anything. First of all neither my wife or myself are very jelious people. Here goes. I come home from a weekend at my buddy's cabin. Sit down and watch the Vikes lose to Atlanta and have a few beers. About 8:00pm the kids are in bed and my wife comes to me and says "do you have something you want to tell me"? I said no. She says are you sure? I say yes. She says who is Lea? I said I don't know. She says yes you do who is she? I said is it our friend from another town? She says no You know who I am talking about. I said I haven't a clue about what you are talking about. She says Lea Therman. I said I still have no clue. Well she says I found this piece of paper with a girls name and phone # on it it womens hand writing in your wallet. I said what were you doing in my wallet and I still don't know what you are talking about. She shows me this piece of paper. I looked at it and said that says Leatherman, I broke my Leatherman and needed the # to call to get it fixed. The girl at the store wrote it down for me. I said what kind of girl has a 1-800# and a HSOforum wwwleathermancom. By this time her jaw is on the ground and she says your not going to tell anyone are you??? So my girlfriend Lea is always at my side and my wife stays out of my wallet.

[rushing]

funny

[DinkADunk]

Our familly was in the boat trolling some floating Rapala's last fall on Lake Minnetonka. As usual, I'm driving, the kids are reading, and the wife is watching the lines. She see's one rod bend, picks up the rod and yells to me that we have a snag. She tries to get rid of the snag but nothing happens. So, I take the rod and say "snag's don't shake their head". A couple of seconds later a 38" Muskie jumps out of the water not happy. So I'm fighting this Muskie on 10lb test mono with a 6lb fluro leader and tell the wife to get the net. Of course she doesn't grab the big Muskie net, but the small net we use for walleye's. So, after a bit of a dance and a couple of tries we finally get most of the Muskie into the small net and are able to land the fish, get the hooks out, take a photo, and release her. What fun

[CPL]

This is a true story that happened a few years ago while we were living in Fargo, ND.

It was early/mid December and we had a few inches of snow. I was battling a terrible cold and my wife offered to shovel the driveway. I said that would be a great help. She did a wonderful job, but noted that my push shovel was very heavy and difficult for her to use. It is one of those heavy-duty spring steel yellow YoHo models -- truly great push shovels. Well, I wanted to encourage her to keep up the shoveling so decided to get her a shovel that was lighter. I went to the Scheel's hardware in Fargo and was talking with the salesman about the virtues of a few of the shovels and chose to purchase an aluminum yellow YoHo with a spring steel lip. I started joking with him about how much my wife was going to love this new Christmas present I was going to get her.

As the salesman and I were finishing our conversation a woman tapped the salesman on the arm and said, "Excuse me, do you sell dog houses?" The salesman replied, "Sorry ma'am, but we do not sell dog houses." To which she responded, while pointing at me, "Too bad because he's going to need one!"

We all laughed heartily at how smoothly the exchange went and believed that it could not have been scripted better.

By the way, I bought my wife diamond earrings that year!

CPL

[lookincalifornia]

when my wife and i were first dating, we were on a camping trip in north central iowa. there was a small pond with a nice bass population, so i could not resist. i had a medium spinning rod rigged up for her with a snagproof frog. she had seen me get two or three fish, and thought it looked like fun. she casted out a couple of times with no luck. i tried to tell her when to stop and when to make him hop. i figured i could just show her. well, i guess i'm too good of a teacher, cause i caught two fish while "showing" her how to use the frog. well, she did finally get her fish, a 5 pounder that i had to wade in after. a five pound bass and 10 pounds of muck, she couldn't move that fish another inch, not with that 8 pound mono. so she got the biggest fish of that trip, i never hear about all the fish i got that day, just that one of her's

[blue_healer_guy]

Me and a buddy were driving home from northern mn and heard of a recent snowfall at home. I called my wife to verify as my buddy was finally able to maybe get the snowmobile out. She say's "yeah, we got about 6 inches." He's pumped. 5 hours later while pulling in the driveway and seeing maybe 2", he say's, "man do you have her fooled".

[DARK30]

It was mid April some years ago. The trout opener was slow and cold that year. The weather was gray and dismal. My Wife and I were camped at a small little campground on the Root River near Preston. One afternoon, we decided to take a little drive and ended up at the Old Barn Resort between Preston and Lanesboro. The place was almost empty. I wanted to hike down the bike trail a ways to check on the river at a bridge that was about a half mile away. We arrived and I quickly disappeared under the bridge to check things out.

Finally I heard "Lets go, I have to go potty". "Well," I said. "We're a long way from a bathroom..just find a place to ruff it". "Where!" she asked. "Come down under the bridge" I said. " No, I don't want too go down there...right here is fine...watch for people". I said there wasn't anybody around don't worry. Well, no sooner than she got started and a family of four came down the trail on their bikes....Mom, Dad, and the kids. My Wife in full view ruffing it up. Funny I....well I didn't want them to see me either so I stayed hidden under the bridge until they were gone....not very supportive I know

[ishgood]

Once we were camping near the Canadian border. We didn't make the proper arrangements to cross but there was a nice waterfall on the other side we wanted to check out. My wife tends to minimize things like international borders.

So we take about 10 steps into Canada and we're looking at this waterfall and theres a group of Canoe-ers there. A guy walks up to my wife and asks her if we came across in a boat. He was looking for the shuttle they had arranged. She thought he was a game warden or something. She's worried that we're busted so tries to answer with a French accent, thinking he will believe we are Candians. "uh... yaaaaa" but it sounds more norweigan. The guy gives her a funny look and walks away and asks someone else.

Every once in a while I refer to her as my little French explorer. I get slapped a lot.

[The Grebe]

I'll give you a husband and wife story that happened about 5 minutes ago....I'm in the living room having a bite to eat and watching some K-1 Karate....the cat must have snuck in and unbeknownst to me, was laying under the coffee table.

The wife walks in with her plate, steps on the cats tail, the cat bolts from under the table, using my big toe for traction and digs a claw or two into it....since I'm in my stocking feet, it frikken hurt! I swallowed a piece of the burger I was eating and %&*%#@ near chocked!

My wife sees me choking and coughing and starts laughing, she sees the blood comming through my sock and she really starts laughing! When I took off my sock and she sees my bloody big toe, she was just about crying!

I can still hear her upstairs, chuckling periodically and I know what she is chuckling about...now if it had been her, I wouldn't have started laughing....Not...I would have laughed just as hard!

[LwnmwnMan2]

Quote:

---

I'll give you a husband and wife story that happened about 5 minutes ago....I'm in the living room having a bite to eat and watching some K-1 Karate....the cat must have snuck in and unbeknownst to me, was laying under the coffee table.

The wife walks in with her plate, steps on the cats tail, the cat bolts from under the table, using my big toe for traction and digs a claw or two into it....since I'm in my stocking feet, it frikken hurt!

I swallowed a piece of the buger I was eating and %&*%#@ near chocked!

My wife sees me choking and coughing and starts laughing, she sees the blood comming through my sock and she really starts laughing! When I took off my sock and she sees my bloody big toe, she was just about crying!

I can still hear her upstairs, chuckling periodically and I know what she is chuckling about...now if it had been her, I wouldn't have started laughing....Not...I would have laughed just as hard!

---

You always eat boogers in front of your wife????

[The Grebe]

Good eyes Man2... I got a kick out of that one! I guess I best edit that sucker...the cat shredded toe must have made me forget the R?

[mattkimk]

Post deleted by mattkimk

[Meaney]

lol!

[mattkimk]

Just to make it clear. I consider my wife to be very smart but like all of us, occasionally the brain does not function at its highest potential and something stupid comes out.

[Orlip]

A friend of mine was cleaning his garage and released the air from his compressor and his wife looked at him and said "that was pretty *&#%@(* stupid" He said why? She says now you have to go to town and pay to have it filled back up again.

I am not sure how many free passe's to the bar he got for that one. Honey I'm going to go fill the compressor.

Another time she called him at work and wanted to know what to do about the watering ban. He asked why and she said we have both odd and even numbers in our address which day do we water??

I am not making this up either.

[maros91]

WOW You can't make that stuff up! Thats to funny!!!

[Windy City Walleye Hunter]

In the immortal words of Ron White.....

"You Can't Fix, Stupid"

Windy

[Coach Dog]

My wife thought that corn on the cob was just regular corn. We were at my uncle's farm and she saw this big field of corn and thought we should pick some and take it home. I told her that it wasn't sweet corn and there's a difference between field corn and sweet corn. I shouldn't have told her and boiled some up for her, that would have been hilarious.

[Daze Off]

Right after we were first married we had a party with some friends and I made margaritas for the event. When I make margaritas I make the mix and then make each drink individually adding the liquor at that time. Well, the party was over and I had a pitcher of mix left that I stored in the fridge. The next day I come home from work and the wife is all smiles and giggles and I ask her what's going on - something funny happen? She just keep giggling and finally admits that she has had some margaritas in a slightly slurred voice. At that point I burst out laughing long and loud and she had no idea what is going on until I can catch my breath and tell her that there was no alcohol in her "margaritas" and it was amazing - she "sobered" up immediately - but I had a good laugh for many years.

The power of suggestion!

Daze Off

[Orlip]

I think it was my wife and I's 3rd Christmas together. She wanted a full length leather coat real bad so I went and bought it for her.

When I was going to wrap it I did not want it to be a dead giveaway so I thought ....... and thought ........ AHA I dug out the box my Browning 7mm came in stuffed the coat in there and I'll be the coat weighs about the same as my gun.

Well you guessed it she tore that wrapping paper off and when she saw the word BROWNING and the picture of a gun on there, well lets just say I wish I had a picture.

Funny thing was she tossed it to the side without opening it and said "Don't even think you will ever get to use it." About an hour latter she opened it and that should have been photographed also.

[CALVINIST]

Here's a good one...

My wife is the worst cook on the planet, so I do all the cooking in our house.

Anyway, one day I knew I would be working late, so the day before I prepped some homemade macaroni and cheese for the oven. put everything in the pan, covered it with wrap, and put it in the fridge. I told the wife when she got home from work to set the oven and put it in. Easy, right?

So I got home, we ate, and the next day she remarked, "You know, I forgot to take the plastic wrap off the pan of macaroni and cheese before putting it in the oven"

Worst cook ever!