Deer camp jokes...

[Insp Gadget]

One of the best parts of Deer camp is of course the comraderie. How about sharing some of the best deer camp jokes either told or played! (I'm always looking for new ones aren't you?)

it's just me, but I think practicle jokes must never harm anyone's body or feelings. That having been said, here goes;

1991, season opened 1 week after Halloween snow storm. 2 of us went up early Friday and went out to make a trail to each stand so every one could find it easier in the morning.

While out, at one guys stand we tacked up a centerfold from a prominent mens magazine about 20 yards from the stand. It was right on the trail in, but facing the stand so it wasn't noticable on the walk in. As daylight broke, our buddy could tell something was strange with the tree and finally it got light enough for him to make it out with the binoc's. Boy did he laugh!

Then as it got lighter he realized that we had (purposely) placed it just far enough out that you couldn't see much detail without out the binocs, but just close enough that every time you looked that general direction, it caught your eye!

Needless to say, it kept his attention at a focused pitch until he couldn't take it anymore and had to go take it down. He finally admitted he only waited 45 minutes before taking it down. He never said what happened once he had it in the stand! We do know he didn't see any 4 legged deer that day.

Good Luck, and have fun!

Gadget

[BDR]

That's a pretty good one, I might have to steal that. But I'm not going in the store to buy it!

Here's one I really wanted to to do but I was afraid I'd might get shot. A couple years ago one in our group got a very big 10 pointer, we hang all our deer at the main farm,sleep in various locations(there are about 20 of us) I wanted to sneak over and remove his trophy from the tree, like someone stole it. We got a good laugh from the idea, but never followed thru.

Another I've thought of doing. Alot of our group use refletor pins to mark their trail in the dark. Moving all their markers. I'd do it but thats a little harsh for opening morning.

[traveler]

This one nearly caused a fistfight in camp a few years back; the boys are drinking at a pretty good clip, one of the younger guys passes out. One thing leads to another and a gutpile is visited (in the dark) by a couple pretty drunk guys, a certain "part" of a bucks anatomy is retrieved, placed in the vicinity of a said passed out guys mouth, camera flashes...

[nut gather]

This story was told to me by a friend.
After considerable drinking. The Rookie passes out about 12:00 am opening morning. The rest of the boys turn every clock including the Rookies ahead to 5:00 am. They wake the Rookie up after an hour of sleep, every one gets dressed and starts heading to their stands. As soon as the Rookie is out of sight, they all return, crawl in bed, and have a good laugh. The poor guy slept in his stand for a couple of hours before he came back in. Needless to say he was not very happy.
Dirty Ba---rds!

[icehousebob]

DEER HUNTING JOKE[not real]
Opening morning, everyone heads in a different direction to hunt. Joe and Charlie head out together. That evening, Joe comes back to camp, dragging a massive 12 point buck. After everyone admires it, someone asks where Charlie is. Joe says," He was helping me drag and he had a heart attack and died." The whole camp is stunned, and Joe is asked, "How could you leave him there and drag the deer in?" Joe answered," This is a trophy twelve point buck!! I didn't think anyone would steal Charlie."

[doubleUcubed]

Many years ago we took a big 12 point rack from a previous years hunt and wired it to the head of a little button buck. Had more than one guy drive on the yard to comment on the little deer with the huge rack!!

[Coach Dog]

Buckblaster,
Only Sven would come up w/ moose c&*#k that fast! I've always loved that one. Another one for ya:

Ole and Sven go deer hunting up nort der and the night before opening morning they sit around telling stories and drinking beers all night. They both have hangovers in the morning, but nonetheless, head for the woods, still loaded. Sven has the beer sh#*s and decides to lean up against a tree to do his business. He ends up passing out w/ his pants down!
Meanwhile, a deer comes by Ole and he shoots it. Sven doesn't even wake up so Ole decides to play a little prank on Sven. He guts the deer and puts the pile of guts unders Sven, so when Sven wakes up, he'll look at the ground and think he [PoorWordUsage]ed his guts out!
So later on that morning Sven walks over to Ole's stand. Ole says, "Sven, you look terrible. All white as a ghost. What's the matter?"
"Vel," Sven says. "I took a dump and realized I [PoorWordUsage]ed my guts right out!"
Ole asks, "Som vat did ya do?"
Sven replies holding up a stick, "Vel, I found this stick, and shoved them back up there!"

[BuckslayerBob]

This is good stuff, guys! What we've done for the past couple years which has pretty much become a tradition now is hide one of those rubber halloween spiders somewhere in the shack. We use fishing string and always rig it so it pops out at an unsuspecting victim. First, it was the cupboard. We tied it so it would come swinging out and hit your hand when you opened it. Last year, I rigged it so when you opened the silverware drawer, the spider would come flying out over the drawer and right onto your hand. That was a good one. This year, I'm thinking under the toilet lid, in somebody's boot, or maybe in somebody's gun case or sleeping bag. LOL. We always get somebody, sometimes the same guy two or three times.

[Ruttin' Buck]

Not so much a prank, but a joke to tell in camp...

So Sven and Ole are sitting at deer camp after a long days hunt. They play cards for a few hours when finally boredom sets in.

Thinking he's just came up with the world's greatest game, Ole says to Sven, "Ya Sven, I've got an idea...how 'bout I think of something and you try to figure out what I'm thinkin'...you can ask me questions and I'll give ya 20 guesses."

Well Sven says, "Ya sure, why not". So Ole say, "Okay Sven, go ahead". Sven thinks a bit and finally asks, "Well, let see here then, can you eat it?"

Ole perplexingly thinks for a minute and studders, "Ummm, huh, well....yeah sure I guess you can eat it".

Sven answers, "Is it moose c*#k?"

Ole..."Yep".

[jlm]

This was not a joke played on someone but something that I thought was really funny. One of the guys from our crew has a box stand with an open top. The ladder goes up the side and you step down inside the box to get in. Well he crawled up the stand and threw his gear in and placed his gun inside before he decided to step in. He finally got in and all hell broke loose. Gear was flying around, the stand was shaking and swaying around and pretty soon he cam flying our the top of the stand and on to the ground (about a ten foot drop). Shortly thereafter, three coons came piling out of the stand right behind him. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Needless to say, he never got a deer that morning and he checks all his stands twice before getting into them!

[Coach Dog]

MNice,
WOW! That is hilarious! I have always feared of some critter living in the outhouse (raccoon, rat, etc.). That would probably give me a heart attack.

[Harmonica Bear]

MNice,

Thanks for the idea! One year, that is going to come into play!

[CornPirateKiller]

The group I hunt with always hunts the antlerless season. We like our freezers full of venison each winter. Anyway, taking a nice buck is a special event as they are prety scarce and skittish by the second season. Should one of the group happen to get lucky enough to get a buck, however, someone always removes the balls from the gut pile when no one is looking and leaves a surprise for the guy somewhere where he doesnt expect it. The first buck I ever got, one of my buddies hung his nuts from my rear view mirror like fuzzy dice. No one ever seems to know who does the deed, but each one of us has found a set of deer nuts in an unlikely spot.

------------------
Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati

[MNice]

Once we got bored and rigged up a tip up with a squirrel tail below the hole in the out house. To trip the tip up, a little mono fishing line tied to a men's magazine grab the magizine and get slapped in the nuggets with a hairy tail. You should see how fast someone can come running out of an outhouse with pants and all down to the ankles!!

[Insp Gadget]

Mnice,

Thats pretty good, LMAO I only wish we had an outhouse I could borrow that for!

Gadget

[Flash]

Not really a deer camp story but close. Back a few years, I shot a nice 10pt. I jumped it laying in a CRP field. Also shot a doe along with it. Anyhow, a few days after the season, I took a friend to that area and we were hunting pheasants. My friend had a young male Black Lab. We were hunting and came up the gut pile where I shot the deer. His black lab picked up the males parts of the deer and would not let them go. The dog held onto them the whole while we continued to hunt. We tried everything to get them away from the dog. We got back to the car and put the dog in the kennel and my friend grabbed the sack and the dog and him had a tug-a-war. He would not give them up. Finally after about 2 hrs, the dog dropped them in the kennel. What a site with this dog and the ?*&^* hanging out of his mouth. Weirdest thing I ever saw.
Flash
"Set the hook"

[buzzsaw]

I hunt on my friends land and his keys are hidden in an area where he has to reach in kinda blindly to grab the keys... well I took the tail of a red squirrel and placed it in there next to the keys and the following week when we got up north he reaches into grab them and he jumps back and lets out a "Holy Sh&t" and I played dumb... He thought there was a live critter in there, when he figured out differently I couldn't hold back the laughter and he figured out I was the guilty party!

[huntin and fishin kid]

Here's a prank that will get some bodys hart pounding I have never done it but always wanted to try is after you get you deer guted and brought back to camp at night go out cut the head off and stick the head on a stick and have the head just coming out of the brush in front of your buddys stand when It gets light enogh to shoot you'll here shooting

[Farley]

This happened to my uncle and his buddy a few years back:

Everyone goes out to their stands opening morning and when my uncle starts getting close to his stand he feels the call of nature comming from deep within his bowels so he finds a spot, drops trou, and does his business. when he is done he has nothing to wipe with so he uses the one piece of clothing he could afford to lose: his gloves. So he cleans up and leaves his gloves on the ground and goes to his stand and never thinks twice about it again. So his buddy goes out the next day to where my uncles stand was and as he's walking thru the woods he looks down and sees a set of gloves. "Oh, Johnson's gloves" he says to himself. So he picks up the gloves and puts them in his chest pocket. About an hour after getting into the stand he starts smelling something funny and he's looking at his boots figuring he stepped in something. Well when he finally pulled the gloves out of his pocket is when it hit him. He was pretty mad at my uncle for that one.