Goodbye Buck

[snagger]

I had the feeling for a couple of weeks that the outcome for Buck wasn’t going to be good. When the vet pinned up the xrays it was illustrated clearly that it definitely wasn’t good. Bone cancer in the hip. The only way to remove the pain was to amputate the hip. But, she was concerned the cancer had already spread. She said if it was her dog she’d put him down. I knew what I had to do…..but not then and there. I needed him to come home one more night. As I drove home with Buck in the back of the truck I watched his little head with floppy ears through the rear view mirror. A horrible emptiness had consumed me. We got home and I fed him a large, large dose of pain killers and then sat on the deck to discuss it with my wife. It was pretty emotional and I told her I needed to bring him hunting one more time. I grabbed my gear and Buck and headed to the gun club. He knew where we were going and was excited. I had 1 bird set out in the field for him. Generally I put the shock collar on him to keep him in check. Not this time. This hunt was for him and he was free to roam. I let him out of the truck and he transformed into the old Buck…..running, jumping, and charging through the tall grass. I knew where the bird was so we worked that direction. Even though he didn’t act like it I knew he was in excruciating pain and knew this would be a short hunt. We circled around the bird so he was down wind. He scented it, found it, and flushed it. I shot it and he retrieved it. I’ve never given him so much praise for getting a bird. I tried to sit there with him for a while but he was in too much pain and kept biting his hip. We walked back to the truck with the wind and rain in our face. When we got home Buck got more pain killers and a few hot dogs for dinner. He never moved from his kennel all night even though the door was open. The next morning I fed home more hot dogs and pain killers. He did make it out of his kennel to clean up the Cheerios from the floor under my son's breakfast chair. The appointment had been made at 10:15. I spent most of the morning sitting by his kennel petting and comforting him. The time came to go. We had to wait for a while out in the parking lot so I kept him in the truck. I fed him more hot dogs. One of the saddest things I had to do was take his collar off. He didn’t need that where he was going. After what felt like an eternity we were told to go into the observation room. A blanket was laid out on the floor. The injection was made, Buck slumped to the floor…..and was gone. That was a FemaleDog. My wife and I sat for a few minutes and pet him. We finally got up to leave and I had to turn back and give him one more pat on the head. Last night when I got home from work my first thought was to take care of Buck. It sucked to walk around the corner and see his empty kennel by the patio door. I had to put it in the garage with his food and water dish. I couldn’t stand to look at it anymore. I also hung up my hunting vest in the basement knowing I’m not going to use it for a long, long time. I can’t stomach the thought of walking a field for pheasant or working the brush for grouse without my hunting buddy.

Buck was a loyal companion to me and the best dog I’ve ever hunted with. I’ll miss him with all my heart.

[reinhard1]

what a way to get the tears flowing. had to dry out the old eyeballs so i can type. i've been there only with two 15 year old retrievers/mix, 6 months apart. realy sorry for your loss. never thought i'd get another dog. after 5 years i got a lab pup laying under my chair as i type. hang in there, i know it's hard, real hard. hopefully you get a new hunting bud somewhere down the line. Reinhard.

[tori's dad]

Snagger, I feel your pain, I have done that same walk twice with my previous labs. You did the right thing by sending him to dog heaven - going out on top and not seeing your friend suffer from the cancer. You will see him again. You sound like a guy who gave him a great life any dog would want to live and you take on the responsiblity of having to make the toughest decision in your dogs life at the end. Time will help you and you will remember the good times you had with him. It sounds like you took good care of him in life but the truth is: He took good care of you! Hang in there- never is easy!

[alleyes]

Thanks for sharing your story, you have my condolences. I'm glad you both shared a last hunt, awesome call!

[Harmonica Bear]

Sorry for your loss. I know your pain.

[Ryan_V]

Wow, what a story. sorry for your loss, I've buried 2 hunting buddies in the last few years, its never easy.

[LABS4ME]

Rest well ol' Buck... and head high Snagger. Don't hang up the vest, Buck wouldn't want it that way. He'd look at you like 'HUH?' You're not going hunting? Trust me, he'll be there with you, you just won't see him.

Hang in there... each day the pain will loosen it's grip!

Godspeed Buck!

Ken

[Moose-Hunter]

I'm right there with ya snagger. I lost my Lil' Jasmine not more that a couple weeks ago and I can still hear the click of her claws on the wood floors. I wish there was someting that could be said to make the pain go away... For the both of us. Alas, only time will heal that wound.

If ya need a shoulder... Drop me an IM and let's talk. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Archerysniper]

Gosh you got me bawling like a school girl, sorry for your loss of a great hunting partner and friend. My 2 labs are laying next to me and I don't know what or how I will handle it when that time comes. I'm glad you got a chance to get him out one more time and get that last bird with him.

[setterguy]

Just know that you gave Buck the best life you could have. I'm sure he wouldn't have traded the time with you for anything either.

Damm dogs.

[Powerstroke]

So sorry to hear about Buck. I feel your pain and am crying with you. I put my boy Riley down just two months ago due to a sudden problem. Its so hard to know that they are in pain. I'm glad you had the chance to take him on one last hunt. That is a thing I would trade anything for.

Only time will heal the wound, so enjoy the memories you have of Buck. Don't hang up the vest just yet. You know the look your dog would give you if you weren't hunting. We've all gotten that look when its the best day for hunting, but you have to say no.

Its been just two months for me and we have a new dog. A lab puppy is sleeping next to my feet as I type. Its hard to move on to a new dog, but the house feels empty without one. My wife and I cried about it on the way home form picking her up. SHe is a good dog and I can only hope she will be a great hunter. You too will find the time to get another dog.

Godspeed Buck. Attaboy!

[snagger]

Thanks for all the support.

Things are looking better.....although still way too quiet around the house.

[reinhard1]

yes Snagger, Powerstroke is right. as i said before it took my wife and i about 5 years to get another pup [chocolate lab], although it was a total surprise to me. she is laying by my feet also as i type. so, the quiet has gone away and it's been more hectic at the house in a good way. take care and good luck.

[TylerS]

My throat hurt I'm so choked up. Very sorry for your loss, but you did what you had to do. Every time I read a story like this, I can't help but look down the road at my own pooch. He's only 16 months old now, but I know that, some day, I'll have to do the same thing. The only thing that keeps me from dwelling on that awfulness is wondering how many new memories we will make together before that time comes! That way, when Remy goes to that big field in the sky, I'll have a lifetime of happy thoughts to keep me company while he's away...

Take solace in the fact that you were the best owner you could be, and your dog would not have a fraction of the good times it had without you. And maybe, some day, you'll get to experience it all over again when the time is right for a new hunting buddy.

[sakazulu]

Very nice! I too was teary eyed and choked! So allow me this---I had to put my first ever dog down in January at the vet and it was the single most heart wrenching experience I have ever had to go thru! I too, wanted never to have to go thru that again! Then, in April, my wife insisted we claim a pup from a litter of labs. I resisted cuz no other dog could replace my Abby! We got the pup and here we are with a 6 month puppy and I realized how important it is to always have a dog in my life! Get back on that horse and ride it, pull out that hunting gear and remember why you loved that dog! I think for every dog you've given a good life to they watch over the next one and they get better and better!

[870Express]

Great write-up. Haven't had dogs long enough to lose one yet but this was a great reminder of what's important in life.