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Dan97

Cindy's Final Decision

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Howdy All...

I just thought I'd update you on how Cindy is doing. I wish I had better news to pass along.

Cindy and her mother met with the doctors in Illinois and they confirmed our fears that there is nothing more that can be done. The disease has spread too far for any treatment to be effective. She wants to see a few more relatives while she's down there, then she and her mom will make the trip back home. Here to our house in Cologne. Arriving either Saturday or Sunday.

I just thought you should know......

Dan

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dan and cindi, what a tough situation. their are no right words to say, so i'll just say god bless both of you, and all of your family. sincerely, jigglestick and family....

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This was too good not to pass on and can give many of us perspective with respect to our own lives and it does relate to Cindy & Dan as well.....God Bless you both!!!

What marvelous advice - for everyone!

This is the commencement speech by the writer, Anna Quindlen, to the graduates at Villanova this year.

It's a great honor for me to be the third member of my family to receive an honorary doctorate from this great university.

It's an honor to follow my great Uncle Jim, who was a gifted physician, and my Uncle Jack, who is a remarkable businessman. Both of them could have told you something important about their professions, about medicine or commerce.

I have no specialized field of interest or expertise, which puts me at a disadvantage talking to you today.

I'm a novelist.

My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first.

Don't ever forget what a friend once wrote Senator Paul Tsongas when the senator decided not to run for re-election because he had been diagnosed with cancer: "No man ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I had spent more time at the office.'"

Don't ever forget the words my father sent me on a postcard last year: "If you win the rat race, you're still a rat."

Or what John Lennon wrote before he was gunned down in the driveway of the Dakota: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life.

Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your soul.

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a winter night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've gotten back the test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume:

I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent.

I no longer consider myself the center of the universe.

I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say.

I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch.

I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are.

So here's what I wanted to tell you today:

Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over SeasideHeights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red tailed hawk circles over the water or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work.

Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter.

Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.

Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister.

Do all of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again.

It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all:

I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get.

I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned.

By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face.

Learn to be happy.

And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.

Thank You Cindy & Dan for helping the cause of this type of consciousness.

My Prayers are with you.

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It's hard to think of anything to say, other than my prayers are with you and your family. God bless.
gte

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Rick.....Thank you. Some of what was said in your post describes Cindy perfectly.

A quick update.....

Cindy won't be coming home until Monday. The doctors want to "build her up" a bit more for the trip. I talked to her this evening and she still wants me to attend the FM gathering at Carver tomorrow. "I'll be there for ya honey!!!!"

And thanks to all for the thoughts and prayers. It seems as if the man upstairs has other plans for my girl. I'm just thankful he allowed us the time we have had together.

Dan

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Dan and Cindy,

I am so saddened to hear the latest news. I will keep you both in my prayers. Enjoy all the time you have left, and cherish the memories. May god bless you both.

Rusty

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we never know why things happen, but that they do, as the one country song says the moments we have together and the little things that brought joy to our lives is the GOOD STUFF! with our thoughts and prayers; give cindy a HUG for all of us! del

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Eyes On Christ. He gives promises, and a reason for hope, for now, and for forever. may God bless you both. In Christ, Love, Jim

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Dan and Cindy,

Of course, there is nothing I could ever say to take your pain away or make any part of your situation seem better.

I often fish alone. My mind is allowed to wander while in the boat by myself and, although I have never met either of you, I have often thought of you during my outings over the last several months. I have hoped and prayed that everything would turn out for the better for both of you. I have been thankful that I had been fortunate enough to be on the water that day.

I have spent most of my life trying to control all of those things that can't be controlled.

I have banged my head against many walls, only to find later that there was a door just a few feet away. Even during the hardest times, when it has seemed that the only way through difficulty was to bang my head even harder....still, to my great amazement, the door ended up being just a few feet away.

I won't even pretend to understand the pain and sadness that you and Cindy are experiencing. The fact that you opened up your hearts and lives to all of us strangers here amazes me. It was a tremendous act of courage and strength....it seems that you and Cindy possess a lot of those two qualities.

Thank you for helping to remind me of what things are truly important in life. Thank you for sharing with me and asking for my help.

I think you already know this, but I will try to help you remember that there is always a way through difficulty. Even when it seems impossible, there is always a door just a few feet away.

I am truly sorry. God Bless you both and thank you.

[This message has been edited by huskminn (edited 07-22-2002).]

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Dan. I have been following this thread for a long time, not knowing what to say and then I remembered what my mom said once after my dad died way too young. She said how happy she was to have had a good one for the short time she had him because she had seen so many that were not like him. Love each other is all I can say - it sounds to me like you are both "good ones". Or keepers as we fishers say. My prayers go with you.

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Phyl

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Dan,

Like many have said I am so sorry to hear this news about you and Cindy. We all have got to know you both just a little bit through this forum and I know that many of us share in a smaller way, your pain.

I will continue to keep you both in my prayers. Cherish the time you have spent together and the time that you have left together. None of us really know how long we have and reading these posts brings a tear to my eyes. Such good people here.

God Bless You Both!

Borch

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My prayers will continue! Dan please stay strong and continue to keep us updated. The FM family has grown very close to you and Cindy over the last many months. We will all continue to be here for you no matter what course God decides. Please let us know if there is anything you need.

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fisherman2.gif

[This message has been edited by Grabs (edited 07-23-2002).]

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Dan,
I've been following this thread for quite some time and there's little I can say that hasn't previousely been said by many others.
But, it's very obvious that you and Cindy share something VERY special that many may never experience, that being your true love for each other.....cherish that, because it's something very very rare nowdays !
Every time I've read an update I've experienced the "tingles" through out my body that remind me of just how blessed and how fragile we all are....and it's those tingles and emotions that have kept me from posting a reply in the past.
I just thought you both should know that I'm sure there are very many others who have read these posts and not replied for whatever personal reasons and have kept you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless you both and thank you for showing and sharing your love for each other with all of us !

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I like many others have been following your threads since the beginning. It's been filled with many ups and downs, please know Dan and Cindy that there are many of us here at FM who continue praying for you. God Bless.

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Cindy and Dan

All my prayers, strength and love to comfort you in your walk.

Jim Hardman

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Dan and Cindy,
I pray that along with hope, you can find peace. In the present, aswell as in the future.
You are truelly blessed to find love, and to have found each other.

Bill


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It's hard to know what to say while you and Cindy are going through such a tough time. Our prayers continue to go out to both of you and your family and you remain in our thoughts.

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Dan and Cindy,
As with the rest of the FM family, I too am saddened by the latest news. I couldn't think of what to say and debated if I should say anything at all. Then I was somehow reminded of something that I used to hear every Sunday morning at the little church I attended and it somehow seems appropriate. The pastor would end every service with these words... "May the Lord Bless you and keep you, may He make His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you, may He lift up his countenance upon you and give you Peace". I always felt so good after that was said. It was comforting and calming to me. I hope somehow it is to you too. Keep your Faith and God Bless you both.

jacheesehead

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