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I need a good idea for lifting wall oven in place


cavalierowner

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I see several problems with the ACME Oven Lift 9000. First the job will have to be done quickly or with the door open due to the carbon monoxide poisoning. At least look into the ACME Oven Lift 5000. That model does not have the dual exhaust. Next, the foot break might be weak. I'd feel more comfortable with size 15s. I'm thinking the stick shift looks awful suspicious, but that would explain the [PoorWordUsage] eating grin on the driver's face. Make sure you get a professional, this guy looks to wear two hats and is a part time fireman. I'm waiting for Wyle Coyote to poke his head in there. It looks to me like the real issue is that the oven bottom is not flat and it is jammed in the opening. Must have been a GE.

This might take more beer than was originally budgeted.

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I see several problems with the ACME Oven Lift 9000. First the job will have to be done quickly or with the door open due to the carbon monoxide poisoning. At least look into the ACME Oven Lift 5000. That model does not have the dual exhaust. Next, the foot break might be weak. I'd feel more comfortable with size 15s. I'm thinking the stick shift looks awful suspicious, but that would explain the [PoorWordUsage] eating grin on the driver's face. Make sure you get a professional, this guy looks to wear two hats and is a part time fireman. I'm waiting for Wyle Coyote to poke his head in there. It looks to me like the real issue is that the oven bottom is not flat and it is jammed in the opening. Must have been a GE.

This might take more beer than was originally budgeted.

Cicada, like me, you are not up on the Acme Oven Lift 9000. After extensive research, here is what I have found from the manufacturer FBNE (FlyByNight Enterprises) that addresses most of your valid concerns.

First, the Operator's Manual has been revised and re-issued telling the operator to open his door. I am concerned that the manual meant the doors to the house, but I trust FBNE to provide accurate and concise information.

Second, the Acme Oven Lift 5000 has been recalled and is no longer in service. While it is true that model had single exhaust, that single exhaust was routed into the operator's cab in an effort to keep carbon monoxide out of the home. While claims of operator CO poisoning are unsubstantiated, because FBNE cares about their customers, they have pulled the 5000 off the market.

Third, FBNE has been concerned about both the foot break and the stick shift. Several claims of operator impotence have been reported; though again, these claims are unsubstantiated. However, in an effort to protect both their operators and the public in general, FBNE has re-labeled the 9000 to the 9000A. A new sticker is available upon request.

Fourth, this particular operator cannot be discriminated against. He has been through the James Public Center for Questionable People (JPCQP) and is better now. I must be firm...any suggestion that he may be unprofessional or crazy will earn you a visit from the ADA police. Besides, give him a break; operating the 5000 for 3 years is not without it's risks.

Finally, BACK OFF on the GE remarks!! At least until their stock recovers and I can sell at a profit. I have to cut this a bit short; there are some nice young men in white coats from the JPCQP here asking me if I would like to go for a ride with them. Oh, and yes I have increased my beer budget. The local liquor store has been alerted! Thank you Cicada for your valid concerns!

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I'd be negligent of me to not point out that the ACME Oven Lift 9000 not only has the custom dual exhaust, but more importantly has a rear spoiler to keep the rear wheel (singular) on the ground. Due to budget cuts, the 9000 only had one rear and one front wheel, hence the foot brakes for added stabilization.

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Couple more questions:

1. Can the Oven Lift 9000 be ordered with a racing stripe? I want mine to look FAST!

2. How about custom rims? Chicks dig the custom rims.

Here is how I understand the 9000A (note that you must specify A, which is the safety upgrade):

1. The 9000A is no longer available with a racing stripe. FBNE discontinued that option after OSHA voiced concern that the racing stripe may encourage unsafe rushing to the jobsite.

2. Yes, custom rims are available. However, if chicks dig the fancy rims, it may not do you any good and may be a waste of money. Refer to the unsubstantiated impotency concerns discussed in an earlier post. The money may be better spent in tin foil hats from the Tin Foil Hat Holding Company (TFHHC), a subsidiary of JPCQP.

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Does the Oven Lift 9000 have a built in box fan?

Yes, if you order the custom rims. The 9000A (don't make me remind you again that it's the 9000A!) comes in a box and you cut the box into pieces, following the dotted lines. Since chicks dig custom rims, they will use the cardboard box "fans" in much the same manner the ancient Egyptian chicks did for the Egyptian royalty. Win/Win!

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