venison vs. beef... the truth

[nonteepical]

Venison vs. Beef: The controversy ends

From the U.S. Venison Council

Controversy has long raged about the relative quality and taste of venison and beef as gourmet foods. Some people say venison is tough, with a strong "wild" taste, others insist venison's flavor is delicate. An independent food research group was retained by the Venison Council to conduct a taste test to determine the truth of these conflicting assertions once and for all.

First, a Grade A Choice Holstein steer was chased into a swamp a mile and a half from a road and shot several times. After some of the entrails were removed, the carcass was dragged back over rocks and logs and through mud and dust to the road. It was then thrown into the back of a pickup truck and driven through rain and snow for 100 miles before being hung out in the sun for a day.

It was then lugged into a garage where it was skinned and rolled around on the floor for a while. Strict sanitary precautions were observed throughout the test, within the limitations of the butchering environment. For instance, dogs and cats were allowed to sniff and lick the steer carcass, but most of the time they were chased away when they attempted to bite chunks out of it.

Next, a sheet of plywood left from last year's butchering was set up in the basement on two saw horses. The pieces of dried blood, hair and fat left from last year were scraped off with a wire brush last used to clean out the grass stuck under the lawn mower.

The skinned carcass was then dragged down the steps into the basement where a half dozen inexperienced but enthusiastic and intoxicated men worked on it with meat saws, cleavers, hammers and dull knives. The result was 375 pounds of soup bones, four bushel baskets of meat scraps, and a couple of steaks that were an eighth of an inch thick on one edge and an inch and a half thick on the other edge.

The steaks were seared on a glowing red hot cast iron skillet to lock in the flavor. When the smoke cleared, rancid bacon grease was added, along with three pounds of onions, and the whole conglomeration was fried for two hours.

The meat was gently teased from the frying pan and served to three intoxicated and blindfolded taste panel volunteers. Every member of the panel thought it was venison. One volunteer even said it tasted exactly like the venison he has eaten in hunting camps for the past 27 years.

The results of this scientific test conclusively show that there is no difference between the taste of beef and venison...

[goblueM]

lmao... hilarious

[leech~~]

OMG, who would handle their deer like that? Most of us I think! Great description!

[BobT]

Yeah! I didn't know beef was handled so poorly.

[TRZ II]

That's good funny! Should have cooled the meat with a 20 inch box fan...

[Steve Foss]

That is a great funny read!

[Coach1310]

Classic.... love it!!

[shortfatguy]

Pretty much sums it up. I have had many people who say they dont like venison change their minds after tasting some I cooked. They ask me why it tastes so much better than other venison they have tried. I tell them the taste of the meat starts the minute you pull the trigger. Every step after that will determine how good the final product is. And one thing I find to have a great effect on the final product is to not over cook the meat. Any non ground venison cooked past medium rare is over done IMHO.

[InTheSchool]

First, a Grade A Choice Holstein steer

Make it an old bull that has been turned loose in a pasture full of heifers in heat and a couple of young bulls for excitement, then turn him loose into that swamp!

[mrklean]

haha nice

[Gordie]

just remember pork is the other white meat

[Lip_Ripper Guy]

I thought about this on my way home Sunday after seeing SUV after SUV with a pile of deer on the "bike rack" on the back going through the slop and slush. I never understood why the butchers advertise "get your own meat back"....now I do.

[Gordie]

lipripperguy it doesnt have to be that way any more with the new laws set in place you can quarter you deer now and throw them on ice. for some it may be alot of work and for others a hassle but to me its the best way to keep it fresh.

I didnt do this this year but I plan on it from here on out. just have to pack one extra big cooler with ice.

Venison its whats for Dinner