F.F.L.F. (for the GL'ers)

[Coldfeet]

There was a thread a little while back inquiring about peoples cylinder index. For this reason, I know that there are quite a few GL'ers that use this forum and you will all understand my plight. This has to do with FFLF. I found a temporary cure, but I don't think it will last. I need to think of something more long term.

I bought a new "zero turning radius" lawn mower earlier this year. I have a rather large lawn and I couldn't wait to try it out. I get home, unload it, and immediately enter into lawn mowing bliss. A couple of days later the grass had grown another inch so off I went again, mowing contently and as happy as a clam. Then came the rain. It rained so much that I was not able to mow again for a whole week. We finally get nice weather and I head off to work in the morning thinking happy thoughts of mowing when I get home. Well, I get home and to my horror I notice that the entire lawn has been mowed. I see my wife waiting at the door with a big smile on her face. "Look honey! I mowed the lawn!" she exclaims gleefully. "Uh, gee. That's great." I say. So just 3 days later I look out at the lawn as I climb into my car to go to work and think, "I'll mow today before it gets too long.", and I again spend another day at work with happy thoughts about riding my new mower when I get home. I get home and wouldn't you know it, she did it again!!!! Now I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I know this sounds devious, but I came up with a brilliant plan to stop this madness before it went any further. I had to sabotage the lawn mower. Well, I didn't really sabotage it, I just shut the fuel line off. Sure enough, a couple of days later I'm thinking the lawn needs to be mowed when I go to work. This time I get home and the mower is sitting in the yard and there's about a 50 foot stretch that's been mowed. "I think the lawnmower is broke. It just died, but it has plenty of gas." my wife says. "Well I guess I'll have to take a look at it.", I reply. I get out my tools and take off the air filter (I have to play this thing out you know), put it back on, nonchalantly turn the fuel line on again, fire it up, and off I go, once again enjoying my hard earned dollars to the fullest. I made sure to turn the fuel off again when I was done, but I'm not sure how long my little ploy will work. Only time will tell. My wife doesn't know much about engines, but she's not stupid either. I have a feeling she's going to figure me out sooner or later. Oh well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

[vikingtom]

Let her mow and u go fishing. Make since to me.

[friendlyfisher]

ColdFeet, Your a genius.

[IFallsRon]

It usually takes me twice as long to accomplish anything when my wife decides to help.

[Blackstarluver]

Don't you know, there is a reason they call her the C.P.!
God lyk.

[icehousebob]

A week ago, I gave my oldest son a Simplicity riding mower that I picked up in a roundabout way. His bride, the pretty little red haired girl, wanted to drive it. Since she had already dented his new diesel pickup, I told him to to do the main mowing and let her use the push mower to do the clean-up. Just tell her that she was gaining weight and the exersise would do her good. He told me that he would be afraid to sleep at night. I don't know what he meant.

[Uncle Grump]

Coldfeet

You are up against the rock and a hard place.
You can keep sabotaging, but when you get caught - and you will get caught, oooooh the pain you are going to feel. Got a dog? You and it might find alot in common - like bunking together.

Yeah you bought a toy - and she's a playing with it. It still counts on your CI. I have to agree w/ VikingTom - let her mow - go fishing. There will be times when she will let you do it - like in Sept/Oct when it starts to cool off - or maybe sooner - once the newness has worn off.

Years ago - when we got our ZTR - everybody wanted to mow - now its just a chore. The time will come...

UG

[Gissert]

Coldfeet -

Nice use of the RMV (Real Mechanical Value) to combat the FFLF. You must send this to Joe.

I live in the Fergus area, but work in the cities during the week. I usually mow my place on Friday nights when I get home. Horror of horrors, the yard looked like a golf course when I got home last week. She got off work early and decided to mow the lawn. I'll have to try the shut off valve trick. Thanks for the tip.

[taxmancommeth]

Association moes our yard but I have a little painting project, a little garage project, and come 2/1/05 - 4/15/05 I will have some tax work if she is looking to stay busy...

Great story had me laughing!!!

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GET-ER-DONE

[bart simpson]

My wife thinks its dicriminatory that you can buy a riding lawnmower but not a riding vacuum cleaner.

There is nothing like hopping on your rider on a crisp fall afternoon, putting on your headset, and listening to the Gophers squeak by against Podunk State while you turn some leaves into "beneficial mulch". Then when you are done, you drive it into the garage, drop the mower deck, put on the snow blade and wait.

Plowing snow is even more fun than mowing. Just ask my neighbors, who had to keep chasing me out of their driveway so their kids could earn their allowance. But that was O.K. I would just return to my driveway and practice "space management", by moving my snow banks halfway across the yard! EeeeHaaa!

Nick

[This message has been edited by bart simpson (edited 06-08-2004).]

[jegerjack]

I like the idea but my problem is that if i did the same thing, come early june, when I go on my trip to the great white north, my wife would be to afraid to mow at all. I would then return to a jungle of a yard...

JegerJack

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"What did the old man trade for these guys, a used puck bag?"

[genegodawa]

You guys are LUCKY. My wife hasn't mowed the yard in 20 years. Heck, even my 15 yr old son just volunteered for the first time this month (although he does have allergies so I've never pushed him).

But then again, I haven't ironed in 20 years and I don't have to do the grocery shopping. We pretty much have it set - she stays in and I take care of the outside. (I really wish she liked to run the snowblower though!)

Gene

[Dave]

I would continue with the ploy but, if you near the driveway and ever get "the look", I would keep on driving.....

[Bobcat45]

I can't say that I've ever been at work and thinking happy thoughts about getting home to mow the lawn. Even with a new lawn mower. I guess if I worked inside all day I could see your point. But I'm outside. My nice wife enjoys that chore so I let her do it. I just have to keep the mower maintained.

[Coldfeet]

Some people just don't get it. If all I wanted was a mown lawn, I'd pay the neighbor kid $10 a week to mow it for me. The idea is that I want to enjoy my cylinders. Mowing with a push mower is work. Mowing with a riding mower is not work, in fact, it can be rather enjoyable. Bobcat 45 guessed right, I do work indoors, so to be outside doing something is the whole point. It's either mow or weed the garden and I don't know about you, but I choose the former. Why don't I just go fishing you ask? I wonder if you guys are married. My observation with other married people and my experience so far is that the husband doesn't get to "just go fishing" until he's been married at least 10 years. I have about 8 more to go. If I started doing that now I doubt my marriage would last 10 years.

I've decided, however, to only sabotage the mower some of the time and let her have a little fun too. I haven't had to wash dishes or clothes or clean the bathroom for 2 years so I guess she deserves it.

[MT Net]

Careful! You're treading deep waer here. You're running the risk of The Look!

I have a similar problem. She WANTS me to add electric start to the snowblower. Not going to do it any time soon.

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Metro Chapter IBOT #130.
Net? You don't need a Net, just LIP them!

[Uncle Grump]

Coldfeet

One caution on the sabotage.....do it too often, and your bride will probally begin to question your judgement on the purchase of the mower, and possibly on any cylinders you attempt to purchase in the future.

Speaking for my bride - nothing irritates her more than cylinders which don't run when she wants them to run.

Finally.....

<marriage counselor mode>

It isn't worth the long term damage to your relationship with her to tamper with the mower just so you can mow. What you are doing is playing her for a fool. Definitely not wise.
</marriage counselor mode>

UG

[Harmonica Bear]

Your mower is your chariot! Only the kings and the appointed sons shall ride upon thee!

That's all I gotta say...

(closed-circuit to just1more or just1more's gal, one of you two have got to have a comment on this thread..quit lurking! oh yeah Snowbank fish fry at the g-club tonight.)

[This message has been edited by Harmonica Bear (edited 06-10-2004).]

[Blackstarluver]

Coldfeet, I have been married 6 yrs and I can't remember the last time I heard "yes" when I asked if the Mrs. minded if I went fishing. Course, I have learned to read her and know when it is the right time to ask. Self deception is bliss.
God lyk!