Jump to content

  • GUESTS

    If you want access to members only forums on HSO, you will gain access only when you Sign-in or Sign-Up .

    This box will disappear once you are signed in as a member. ?

Any good Ice fishing jokes?

splakeshaker

By splakeshaker
in Ice Fishing

 Share

Recommended Posts

splakeshaker Community Regular

splakeshaker

Posted
Posted

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.

Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.

The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.''

Anyone else got some?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
splakeshaker Community Regular

splakeshaker

Posted
  • Author
Posted

There were two good ol' boys from warmer climes who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it.

The lake was frozen nicely, so they stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their bait and tackle.

One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."

After they got their equipment, they took off.

In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."

He sold him the picks, and the good ol' boy left.

In about an hour, he was back at the shop agaain and said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

The shop owner couldn't believe it. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the stupid boat in the water yet."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
splakeshaker Community Regular

splakeshaker

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Reasons Why Ice Fishing Is Better Than Sex...

** You don't have to hide your Ice Fishing magazines..

** It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Ice Fish with you once in a while.

** The Ten Commandments don't say anything about Ice Fishing.

** If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Ice Fishing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.

** Your Ice Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago

** It's perfectly respectable to Ice Fish with a total stranger.

** When you see a really good Ice Fisherperson, you don't have feel guilty about imagining the two of you Ice Fishing together.

** If your regular Ice Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Ice Fish with someone else.

** Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Ice Fish by yourself.

** When dealing with a Ice Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.

** You can have a Ice Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Ice Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Ice Fish with you without getting sued for harassment.

** There are no Ice Fishing-transmitted diseases.

** If you want to watch Ice Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

** Nobody expects you to Ice Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life

** Nobody expects you to give up Ice Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.

** Your Ice Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Ice Fished last week! Is Ice Fishing all you ever think about?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
splakeshaker Community Regular

splakeshaker

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Two guys from Daniels County are quietly sitting in a fish house sucking down beer when suddenly Mel says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

Earl sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
splakeshaker Community Regular

splakeshaker

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Two blonds go on an Ice fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the auger, the rods, the heaters, the ice house, the car, and even a nice little cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go Ice fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the blonds catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One blond turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other blond says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
splakeshaker Community Regular

splakeshaker

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Kent and three of his buddies have gone ice fishing every Saturday during the winter for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are ice fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Kent lays down his rod, steps out of the fishhouse, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Kent sits down, puts his hat on and drops his line without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of em finally speaks up and says, "that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by." Kent replied, "It seems the least I could do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for over forty years!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
bmc2b Collaborator

bmc2b

Posted
Posted

Not a joke, but a true story:

I got home early from work and wanted to go icefishing. I knew my wife would object and want me to do a bunch of work around the house. Sooooo..I said, "Honey, I'm home early. Should we have some fun together (Hint Hint) or should I just go fishing?" I got to go fishing without an argument.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BK19 Proficient

BK19

Posted
Posted

I actually won a trip to florida to see the vikings play tampa bay in december of 199@ with that joke but instead of a blonde it was the tampa bay bucs

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.

Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.

The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'' This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.''

Anyone else got some?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now ↓↓↓ or ask your question and then register. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


  • Your Responses - Share & Have Fun :)

    • smurfy
      Just Food and Drink

      By smurfy · Posted

      By The way that didn't work either!! Screw it I'll just use the cellular. 
    • Wanderer
      Just Food and Drink

      By Wanderer · Posted

      It’s done automatically.  You might need an actual person to clear that log in stuff up.   Trash your laptop history if you haven’t tried that already.
    • smurfy
      Just Food and Drink

      By smurfy · Posted

      😂 yea pretty amazing how b o o b i e s gets flagged, but they can't respond or tell me why I  can't get logged in here on my laptop but I can on my cellular  😪
    • Mike89
      Just Food and Drink

      By Mike89 · Posted

      I grilled some brats yesterday, maybe next weekend will the next round...  
    • Wanderer
      Just Food and Drink

      By Wanderer · Posted

      You got word censored cuz you said        B o o b ies….. haha.   Yeah, no… grilling is on hiatus for a bit.
    • smurfy
      Just Food and Drink

      By smurfy · Posted

      Chicken mine,  melded in Mccormick poultry seasoning for 24 hours.  Grill will get a break till the frigid temps go away!
    • Mike89
      Problems with Yetti

      By Mike89 · Posted

      good luck!!!   
    • rundrave
      Problems with Yetti

      By rundrave · Posted

      we had some nice weather yesterday and this conundrum was driving me crazy  so I drove up to the house to take another look. I got a bunch of goodies via ups yesterday (cables,  winch ratchet parts, handles, leaf springs etc).   I wanted to make sure the new leaf springs I got fit. I got everything laid out and ready to go. Will be busy this weekend with kids stuff and too cold to fish anyway, but I will try to get back up there again next weekend and get it done. I don't think it will be bad once I get it lifted up.    For anyone in the google verse, the leaf springs are 4 leafs and measure 25 1/4" eye  to eye per Yetti. I didnt want to pay their markup so just got something else comparable rated for the same weight.   I am a first time wheel house owner, this is all new to me. My house didn't come with any handles for the rear cables? I was told this week by someone in the industry that cordless drills do not have enough brake to lower it slow enough and it can damage the cables and the ratchets in the winches.  I put on a handle last night and it is 100% better than using a drill, unfortatenly I found out the hard way lol and will only use the ICNutz to raise the house now.
    • Wanderer
      Problems with Yetti

      By Wanderer · Posted

      I haven’t done any leaf springs for a long time and I can’t completely see the connections in your pics BUT I I’d be rounding up: PB Blaster, torch, 3 lb hammer, chisel, cut off tool, breaker bar, Jack stands or blocks.   This kind of stuff usually isn’t the easiest.   I would think you would be able to get at what you need by keeping the house up with Jack stands and getting the pressure off that suspension, then attack the hardware.  But again, I don’t feel like I can see everything going on there.
    • rundrave
      Problems with Yetti

      By rundrave · Posted

      reviving an old thread due to running into the same issue with the same year of house. not expecting anything from yetti and I already have replacement parts ordered and on the way.   I am looking for some input or feedback on how to replace the leaf springs themselves.    If I jack the house up and remove the tire, is it possible to pivot the axel assembly low enough to get to the other end of the leaf spring and remove that one bolt?   Or do I have to remove the entire pivot arm to get to it? Then I also have to factor in brake wire as well then. What a mess   My house is currently an hour away from my home at a relatives, going to go back up and look it over again and try to figure out a game plan.           Above pic is with house lowered on ice, the other end of that leaf is what I need to get to.   above pic is side that middle bolt broke and bottom 2 leafs fell out here is other side that didnt break but you can see bottom half of leaf already did but atleast bolt is still in there here is hub assembly in my garage with house lowered and tires off when I put new tires on it a couple months ago. hopefully I can raise house high enough that it can drop down far enough and not snap brake cable there so I can get to that other end of the leaf spring.

  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

  I accept