Jeff Foxworthy moves North

[Guest]

Ok first it was rednecks now us but it's kinda true. Anyone want to add to these?
Jeff Foxworthy Moves North
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>If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
>inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim
>by, you might live in Minnesota.
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>If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each
>year because International Fall is the coldest spot in the nation, you
>might live in Minnesota.
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>If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you
>might live in Minnesota.
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>If you think a basketball team consists of twelve white boys, you might
>live in Minnesota.
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>If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you
>might live in Minnesota.
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>If someone in a store offers you assistance, and don't work there, you
>might live in Minnesota.
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>If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
>forehead, you might live in Minnesota.
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>If you have a apologized to a telemarketer, you might live in Minnesota.
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>If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk,
>you might live in Minnesota.
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>If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day, you might live in
>Minnesota.
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>If you have either a pet or child named "Kirby", you might live in
>Minnesota.
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>If you town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
>Minnesota.
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>If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
>a wrong number, you might live in Minnesota.
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>If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina or Shakopee, you might
>live in Minnesota.
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>If you think ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Minnesota.
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>If you grew up thinking rice was only for dessert, you might live in
>Minnesota.
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>If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear,
>and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters, .... Hamm's the
>beer refreshing", you might live in Minnesota.

[Aquaman01]

If you believe an $800.00 snow-thrower can pay for itself in one winter,
you might live in Minnesota

If you think milk, butter and flour makes a 'sauce',
you might live in Minnesota

If you think Santiago is pronounced the same as a different city in southern California,
you might live in Minnesota

If you've ever wished your Mom a happy Mother's Day from a cell-phone in a boat,
you might live in Minnesota

Rob -
Non-Native

[Guest]

If the only house you own, can fold up and fit in your pickup you may be from Minnesota

If your idea of sexy lingere for your wife says carhartt you may be from Minnesota

If the only way that you will go to Disney World is if they will let you bring home the mouse for Muskie fishing. you may be from Minnesota.

[LundExplorer]

If you and your wife have traded Mother's Day and Father's Day so you can fish, you might be from Minnesota.

[Guest]

I have a Word file with a great number of Minnesotisms. Here's a few I think are actually worth a snicker:
You just might be a real Minnesotan if:
You have written your name in snow while peeing.
Your long underwear is visible in the drawer all year long.
You don't care what others think about the movie "Fargo."
You think that Iowans have a southern drawl.
You will never understand why some of the newer employees in some stores can't understand you.
You fully understand why you can't understand them!
You are fond of hotdishes and jello with shredded carrots in it.
You have cooked a four course meal on top of your car engine on the way to the lake in tin foil.
You think Ole, Lena and Sven are cult heroes.
You didn't really vote for Ventura.
Your garage contains things considered useless in the South.
You still believe that oatmeal actually "sticks to your ribs."
You know that some rivers flow north and are not confused by it.
You can speak Minnesotan any time you need to, especially in small bars up north.
You wouldn't drink 3.2 beer unless there was nothing else to drink including water.
You are taxed out of your socks and you like it. (You are still here.)
You've had your tongue stuck to cold metal. And then, you did it again.

[waterwolff]

You just may be a Minnesotan if your idea of champaign taste and caviar dreams translates into a 12 pack of Bud and a smoked whitefish

[Mr_Sniffles333]

These reminded me of something that I read a few weeks ago.

http://dj1953.freeyellow.com/page13.html

Enjoy!

[Mr_Sniffles333]

you voted for an ex WWF World Wrestling Champion to be your next Governor.

your favorite sport when it's cold outside is played where it's cold inside.

the first time you saw "Grumpy Old Men" you thought it was a documentary.

you laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire east coast.

your town has an annual festival honoring a fruit, vegetable or ethnic food.

your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "winter carnival."

you never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of the dialog.

you voted for Mondale.

you beam with pride when some King or Hollywood super star comes to the Mayo Clinic to save their lives.

you have friends who schedule their wedding in the middle of January without a thought about weather conditions.

[Northlander]

If you have 2 boats, 1 canoe, 3 snowmobiles, 4 ice houses, 2 snowblowers, 10 shovels, 1 roof rake, 2 fridges, 1 freezer, 24 ice rods and reels, 12 tip ups, 2 rock n reels, 6 cases of beer and a thermometer in your garage and 2 vehicles on the street your probably a cheesehead!