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Ed Carlson

The Saga of "Lonesome Kermit"

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I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone by not bringing up my annual Frog Run ballad..so here ya go.

**********************************

The Saga of "Lonesome Kermit"

By Ed "Backwater Eddy" Carlson

Scene one...(Fade in on Kermit on the range)......Fall temps drop, rains begin, open free-range Kermit's with fat bellies full of hoppers and bugs but rapidly loosing cover due to harvested crops, frog herds form in mass, Kermit and the herd start to mosey (yup...frogs do mosey..at least they do in my stories) to low laying areas funneling into lakes and rivers where they hope to winter comfortably. All is right in Kermit's world.

Scene two...(The gangs all here).....Miss Piggy and her gang have been enjoying a fine late summer and early fall raiding weed lines and wondering progressively closer to shallow pastures. Pick'ns have been good, minnows, chub's, nibbler sized panfish, the stray cisco on the breaks sure make up a wide range of chow for the girthy gang. New and old faces join the gang daily, the motley crew grows in numbers. Wind and rains come more frequent now, weed growth now diminished and that sun sure is get'n kinda bright. Raiding now gets better under the blanket of darkness, and the shallow shoreline makes a handy coral to push them strays into.

Scene three...(The Hole in the Wall)....A bright October moon lights up the sparsely clouded cold night sky. Steady light rains have been ebbing in and out for a week now and the gang has setup camp near a creek mouth that feeds through a wide marsh. The gang is restless, they sense new flow feeding out of the creek. Miss Piggy keeps a vigilant eye pealed to the sky, and nose to the wind. Miss Piggy knows it won't be long now.

Scene four...(The Winter Crossing)....Kermit and his clan have now grown in numbers to the 10's of thousands. It has been a tough slog through the heavy cover and the falling temps is taking it's toll on them. This is not Kermit's first crossing and he knows what is likely to lay ahead for the crew. But he knows it's a numbers game, we all hit the water, most will make it, many will not. It's the Veterans he has the most sympathy for...they know what is ahead. As for the greenhorns, well....if they make it, they will know how he felt come next season.

Scene Five... (The Bushwhack) ... Kermit looks left and than right up the beach, every one looks back at the Ol wise Bull waiting for the sign. Kermit's mind wonders to warm summer nights when the air would be full of singing again...but not now...nothing to croak about now, maybe he will sing again come spring. Kermit looks ahead and leaps, than others soon fallow. Thousands fallow, 10's of thousands splash into the water sending out a dinner bell chime to the awaiting Miss Piggy gang. The Bushwhack is on.

SLURP.....SLURP......SPLASH.....SLURP.....SPLASH.. ..this will go on all night and into the early morning. Many will never reach the mud, some loose there resolve and return to shore and will try again the fallowing evening, and they will repeat this tell the ice blocks the pathway to there winter slumbering grounds.

Next season the rookie will be the new bull Kermit, and a veteran of the fall run Bushwhack. And Miss Piggy and her gang, will be waiting.

The

END

*************************************

Fall frog migration pasterns are one of my favorite peek periods to catch sumo class walleye. Not only sumo's but numbers of eager to feed walleye of all sizes, in large numbers, in easily defined areas. Crankbaits or jigs rigged with 5" twisters in white or green and white have served me well. Live frogs on jigs work too, but if they are on the chew...the plastics do best.

The formula is simple, lots of food (Kermit and his herd) headed one way.....and lots of eager hungry walleye (Miss Piggy and here gang) facing the other way. When the two meet, things get ugly...at least they do for Mr. Kermit. Miss Piggy and her posy however are as happy as a herd of Swedes gathered for a family reunion at a Golden Coral all ya can eat buffet.

I can hear Miss Piggy now......."Come-on in boys...da waters fine!"

Ed "Backwater Eddy" Carlson

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Last night there were thousands of Kermits crossing a road that runs right next to a lake I fish. The migration is on!

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The "kermits" were out again last night, and I took advantage of it, catching a 25" and 22" plus 4 eater size eyes in 3 feet of water, within 50 feet of shore. Not exactly "sumos" but it's still technically summer! : - ) It's going to be an interesting Fall!

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I have had good luck pitching #18 Rapalas tight to shoreline this time of year. Once able to pick up a fish or two, I like to slow down and use the big plasics. It seems the bigger bodies on them the better.

Boy, when they hit, you know they are there. Not real selective.

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Farmboy1... Try 5" White or Green Mogambo Twisters or 5" Big Hammer Swim baits once. wink

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The Sequel to Lonesome Kermit:

Miss Piggy's Bad Buffet Experience

Scene 1: (Midnight Snackin')

Miss Piggy and her gang have been cruising the shallows during the past few nights, Sometimes starting around Dark and sometimes waiting until 2-3am to start their forays. Scarfing up whatever gets in their way, be it perch, sunfish, bullheads, or the ever popular Kermits that have been getting more and more abundant. With growls in their tummies the Piggies cruise, on high alert for anything edible, and able to see just a bit better due to the soft glow of Moonlight over the Water.

Scene 2: (Trouble in Buffet Land)

Suddenly, Miss Piggy senses something nearby, something swimming, struggling, acting weak and vulnerable. She swims closer, feeling the vibrations getting stronger, then dimly makes out the small creature, struggling, then falling back, struggling, falling back. This is just too Easy, she thinks, closing in for the Chomp!! Then a sudden sharp pain the her mouth area, and an irresistable force pulling, pulling, pulling. With sheer terror for her life, Miss Piggy swims away as hard as she can, shaking her head to spit out that terrible creature she just ate, but she cannot help but relent to the constant pressure, and soon feels her watery home slip away as a net is placed unter her and she is lifted out.

Scene 3 (All Better Now)

Who is this ugly Fisherman staring at me and taking my picture? He sure doesn't look like a Dentist trying to fix my toothache!! (in Miss Piggy's voice) she screams: LET ME GO! but unfortunately Humans can't hear Fish talk, so her screams go unheard. Then sudenly, she is placed back into her Watery home, and slowly begins to revive from the ordeal as she swims back to the bottom, thinking, Dang prey, they're kinda like sunflower seeds, every once in a while you get a bad one....

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That's the Spirit FisherMatt! ..... you get it! wink

The Sequel to Lonesome Kermit:

Miss Piggy's Bad Buffet Experience

Scene 1: (Midnight Snackin')

Miss Piggy and her gang have been cruising the shallows during the past few nights, Sometimes starting around Dark and sometimes waiting until 2-3am to start their forays. Scarfing up whatever gets in their way, be it perch, sunfish, bullheads, or the ever popular Kermits that have been getting more and more abundant. With growls in their tummies the Piggies cruise, on high alert for anything edible, and able to see just a bit better due to the soft glow of Moonlight over the Water.

Scene 2: (Trouble in Buffet Land)

Suddenly, Miss Piggy senses something nearby, something swimming, struggling, acting weak and vulnerable. She swims closer, feeling the vibrations getting stronger, then dimly makes out the small creature, struggling, then falling back, struggling, falling back. This is just too Easy, she thinks, closing in for the Chomp!! Then a sudden sharp pain the her mouth area, and an irresistable force pulling, pulling, pulling. With sheer terror for her life, Miss Piggy swims away as hard as she can, shaking her head to spit out that terrible creature she just ate, but she cannot help but relent to the constant pressure, and soon feels her watery home slip away as a net is placed unter her and she is lifted out.

Scene 3 (All Better Now)

Who is this ugly Fisherman staring at me and taking my picture? He sure doesn't look like a Dentist trying to fix my toothache!! (in Miss Piggy's voice) she screams: LET ME GO! but unfortunately Humans can't hear Fish talk, so her screams go unheard. Then sudenly, she is placed back into her Watery home, and slowly begins to revive from the ordeal as she swims back to the bottom, thinking, Dang prey, they're kinda like sunflower seeds, every once in a while you get a bad one....

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"More Coffee Please."

by Ed "Backwater Eddy" Carlson

"Slow, slower, keep it slow now Ed, ya know Miss piggy walleye won't chase a crank bait too far in this 36 degree water, now will she?" I need to remind myself of the basics often as my teeth begin to chatter and I become a bit impatient.

More Coffee Please!!Not to say I talk to my self out here in the dark, maybe I do who knows really? It can be a lonely spooky business when the blanket of night surrounds you.

~ Snap-Crunch-Crunch ~

"Huh, I wonder what that was?"

Ah, just some other hunter like myself slinking through the underbrush snapping twigs and rustling leaves, ya, that's it? Ya, but who or what, and hunting what, hunting me?

"Naaaaa…Jeez Ed, get a grip!"

When my curiosity gets the best of me I will shine a flash light back there and take a look, but I hate to take the chance miss piggy is near, she don't like sudden light's or moon shadows, I can wait, a little bit longer.

~ CRUNCH! ~

Now dead silence, the kind that really makes ya nervous, that kind of silence.

~ SNIFF ~ SNIFF ~

OK, ah, there is something right behind me now. I can feel and hear it sniffing my neck over the river bank wall, right behind my head. "This is bad, this is not good Ed, ok now what?" I decide to spin around then quickly flip on my hat light, and scare "IT" away, good plan ya?

"Do-do-do, ready, do-do-do, ready, do-do-do."

~SNIFF~SNIFF~SNIFF~

"Ah man!"

"Ok.....Ready....Spin and hit the light…NOW!"

I spin with cat like reflex's while spontaneously flipping on the hat light, all the while balancing on a large chunk of wobbly rip-rap. Not an easy task I'll tell ya. The light fires up as planned and there, not 12" in front of my face, peering over the bank, are two big green eyes!

"EEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

In retrospect, although I'm not entirely sure, a less them masculine noise may have fled my mouth into the silence of the crisp autumn night air. But let's just say it was a grunt, ya I am certain it was a grunt, a manly kinda grunt, yup that's it, a manly grunt.

This strategic assault on the vicious green eyes results in a sudden loss of balance sending my arm's flailing about, a spinning rod in one hand, while desperately clutching at the night air with the other free hand.

Flash light focusing on trees, then the water, then the rock, then the trees again, but not on the eyes. Those eye's that were still peering at me from the bank. Yup, those mean looking big green buggers, those eyes.

I momentarily regain my composure, to again scan the bank for the big green vicious eyes. Unfortunately the light I so desperately was depending on now quits, darkness again surrounds me.

If you ever used a headlamp you know that if they fail you in a time of need the recommended procedure is a series of slaps to the head. This will get the light to again illuminate, if you're lucky. So now I commence to franticly beat myself about the head to regain the illumination that I now perceived to be my only hope of salvation from the vicious green-eyed menace, who was certainly about to devour me.

"SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP!"

The last slap was the charm. Darn good thing too, a few more slaps just may have knocked me out.

With my precious illumination regained I franticly begin scanning the headlamp up and down the shoreline to again locate the "Big Green Vicious Eyes".

There they are, those two big green eyes, the eyes that are mounted on the head of a big stupid, yet completely harmless looking, black lab. Who now apparently thinks he found a new amusing friend in the night to play with?

~ WOOF! ~

"Ya…"WOOF" to you too, ya Putz!"

"Ah heck, you didn't mean it did you buddy?"

I give him a good rub on the head. His body heat was a welcome hand warmer in this 30-degree night air.

Yup Uf-Da, fall walleye fishing at night, you just never know what to expect? From renegade beaver commandeering a boat, dogs lying in ambush, cranes landing on the boat bow or your shoulders, coon's or weasels rummaging in the tackle box, and of course the ever vicious killer frog's dancing in dry crisp leaves. Oh-ya, and not to forget my buddies the muskrat's trying to eat my bootlaces. They all love to mess with your mind at night, but I truly do love it.

Time for more "HOT" coffee, yup-yup-yup, more coffee, that will help.

Ah..um..And by the way, it was a strategic manly GRUNT. Not a girly-man type scream, honest.

Ed "Backwater Eddy" Carlson...><,,>

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