The Man Rules

[Fish Toys]

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all

down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear the rules From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what

we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during

commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We

have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's

wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you

don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...

Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss

such topics as Football

or NASCAR.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[icehousebob]

I hate to show how men are winning the war of the sexes, but we are. Last year my bride of 37 years finally admitted that I'm a better cook than she is. She gave up and told me that I am so good that I get to do all the cooking from now on. A couple months ago, she said I am better at grocery shopping than her. I get almost everything on her list with very few mistakes, so I get to do all the shopping also. To add to her humiliation, she says that with more training I could probably be better at laundry and house cleaning than her. SO, Am I winning the war of the sexes???

[reelemin]

Thats actually pretty good

There is some valid arguments in that list,

[UdeLakeTom]

Does that mean since I have only been married 35 years I have 2 more years to get better?? Actually I think she had me trained to do that long ago....but I get back. I leave the seat up all the time.

[reelemin]

See, - being with a women, ---- we just don't have those problems. ........... truth is - we have most of those "issues" ( minus a few, ie. toilet seat, scratching etc. )

So its a no win situation on either side of the fence. LOL LOL LOL

[bassNspear]

only from you wayne......only from you!!!!!!!!