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Asian Carp

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I just read an article about the impending invasion of Asian carp into Minn. Scary! The article said the sound of motors sends the silver carp nuts and causes them to launch themselves into the air. The article mentioned the story of a lady in a boat that got hit full in the face by a 30lber and broke her nose. I know I'm weird but imagine the scene at the start of a "shotgun" start icefishing tourney.

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Any fish over 20lbs is a rush that you only get maybe three times in your life. Picture casting to a given area and having more that one hungry 20lb er hitting your bait. Bonus starting up the motor and having to beat them off with whatever. WOW. Makes me sit up and check my mono.

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If we can overlook the horror of the damage such an invasion might cause, perhaps we can have a bit of fun with the new carp.

Position yourself on the front of the boat with a) a large sword; B) a shotgun; c)a pitchfork. Have a buddy drive fast through areas known to hold Asian Carp. The one with the most slime, blood, and scales on him wins.

Rig up a net device across the front of your boat to catch airborne carp and funnel them into your propeller. Sure you'd need a new prop on a regular basis, but each thump-and-crunch would be progress.

A series of raceways and lifting devices might be designed which could harness the jumping power of the Asian carp and generate enough electricity to power all of southeastern Minnesota.

If they'll take flies we could market them as the "new trout" and create a "River Runs Through It"-like revolution and cash in big-time from the Orvis people. They have enough money to go to Mongolia, they could come to Red Wing. I could see Lefty Kreh in that dumb hat holding a bucking 10-weight on the front of a flats skiff while a forty-pounder leapt into the sunset.

Train them to attack enemies. We did it with porpoises. One of those Persian Gulf speedboats comes at you and suddenly a blizzard of fifty-pound carp wearing titanium spikes comes flying out of the water. Cool. Maybe a muskie/asian carp cross.

Get some grizzly bears to sit on rocks and hoik them out of the river and eat them in three bites. I saw one in Alaska one time catch a salmon out of mid-air. People pay to see that.

Use them as a training device to help Daunte Culpepper hold on to the football, or maybe to help the O-line pick up blitzes. A pontoon boat with astroturf and no railings might work for that.

Any other suggestions?


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Ice I love your shotgun idea talk about gunning for carp! lol. Worse? If these things start flying up out of the holes and into your house.
They are getting to be a mennace on the great lakes though.

It's the other white meat.

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