How To Get Out

[Guest]

I am an avid outdoorsman who jumps at every chance to get out. But, I've come to a point in my life that makes it hard to leave the house. Having recently had my first child and the new responsiblities conflicting with my hunting, I can only imagine what it's going to do with my ice fishing. From watching this HSOforum, i just wonder how everybody gets out enough, or do I just need to wait til the kid gets older. Does it get Better!! I mean I love my wife and kid. And I can't wait to raise him to be a fisherman too. But what are some of the reasons or excuses you guys use to get out? And they better be good ones. Let me know before the season gets out of hand.

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Jake

[Hemlock]

ShdBFishin,

I myself have just started a family, as my lil' sportsman just turned 1. My adventures to lake of the woods have actually increased since he was born, as it is a great place to bring the family for a week(end) of warm weather activities. My duck hunting and deer hunting and soon to come, ice fishing were indeed cut shorter due to commitments back at the homestead. The only way I can swing it is: 1. plan well ahead in advance 2. cut the length of a trip from 4-5 days to 2-3 and finally, 3. Make sure the wife isn't the last one to know what the plan is. I do agree things are not as easy to pack up and head "north" for the weekend anymore, but I think most husbands/dad's will agree the key word is COMPROMISE. Good luck and we'll see you out there!

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Hemlock
"Throw'm back"

[Guest]

Welcome ShdBFishin. Judging by the times of our posts, I bet we're both feeding babies. I've been in the same predicament you're in for a couple years now, and now I have a three month old on top of it all, so I know what you're going through. To answer your question, Yes, It gets a helluva lot easier after awhile.
Babies are a lot of work, and the work multiplies with each kid, but the older they get, the less work they are. I've got a two year old and an infant, and it's already much easier to take care of the two than it was a few months ago.
But they're also a lot of fun too, which I'm sure you're finding out also.

Now how are we going to be able to fish this year? I've got a few plans already, some the wife has agreed to, some she doesn't know about yet.

First, how close are you to a fishing hot spot? I live close to a pretty decent river, so I've already designated saturday mornings as fishouse time. My wife knows that to keep me somewhat happy, she has to concede that. Plus, I've promised that I won't be spending all day into the night out at the fishouse. She's more willing to go along with my plan if she knows I'll be home in the afternoon sometime. It also means that I'll be watching the kids some weekends when she wants some time away from the kids, but I can live with that.

Now how am I going to get a free pass for the weekend to fish? Simple-- Grandparents! I've booked them twice this winter. They're happy to watch my kids, but I don't use them as often as I should.

I also might take a day off here or there from work. You know, drop the kids off at daycare and head down to the fishouse. Who knows I might even be too sick to work a couple times this winter (of course that would be unethical and I'm not endorsing that idea

ShdBFishin, let's face it. We're not going to be fishing as much as we'd like this winter. With small kids, and wives that work, it's too much to ask to be gone fishing all the time. But what I've found is now when I am away fishing, or hunting, I appreciate and cherish every minute of it.

Good Luck, post if you come up with some better ideas.

WS

[Hemlock]

WS,

Good points. If I'm not working the night shift at the jail here, then I'm probably feeding my little boy, especially at 4:04 AM. I like the sick idea. At least nobody in the family is a victim...directly. I'm releived to hear it gets easier, because so many people tell me to "enjoy it while you can" What the heck does that mean? I know, I'm young and vulnerable.

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Hemlock
"Throw'm back"

[SportFishin']

ShdBFishin

I have been in the same boat you have been in for 5 Years now. I was blessed with my first son 5 years ago & now we have our second son who just turned 1. Let me tell you it does get easier hang in there.

I have been fortunate to have a very understanding wife & she knows that getting away is good for me & for our relationship together. As stated above I have found plan your outings well in advance. Children will require all of us to make sacrifices in our lives but in the long run the rewards are great!

These are some of the things I have done to adjust to having kids & keeping the peace.

1.Plan 1-2 day trips (Fishing & Hunting)

2.8x12 Permanant Ice Shack (Comfort for the Misses & Kids)

3. Once Ice is good for the shack wait to go out in the evening until eveyone is down for the night.

4. Time off for the Misses.(Out with her friends & Ect.)

5. Honey-Do list is always completed before getting outdoors.(This one always seems to get bonus time on the water)

Remember when the kids get older make your plans to take them with once & awhile because it will be great quality time w\DAD!.

Good luck & Hang in there.

Chris

[Tully]

One word. PAINT
I have been in the process of painting the rooms in our house. I have put a few late nights in painting, but I have been able to get out on the weekends to "get some fresh air". The key here is to do it all yourself, if she helps, results may vary.
My kids are 10 & 4. It does get easier but it is also alot busier. My boy has hockey
5-6 days a week.
Tully

[Dave]

My boys turned 7 & 9. It gets easier getting out of the house now but I'm usually packing for the three of us. More work for packing but easier to get out of the house.

[Guest]

I have two boys, ages 3 and 8 - took the older one out last year for his first real ice-fishing - it was a blast. Just remember, once your kid is old enough (in a few years), having him join you is not only a great way to spend time together, it means 2 more tip-ups and more fish on the ice!!

I'm lucky enough that my wife realizes I need to fish to stay sane, so I get lots of fishin' time. I have a portable for her and the younger one, so they come out too occasionally.

Also I live very close to Bush Lake, which is a good spot to get away to for a couple hours and catch some pike. You should look for a similar near-by lake so as to get in a quick-fix when needed without having to spend the whole day.

Good luck,
Mike

[sorenson]

If you have the option for short day trips, take him with you (it was the reason I was allowed to buy a portable shelter!) My son's first trip on the ice was at age 3 weeks! He slept comfortably for a couple of hours in the Clam... Bear in mind that your trips will be shorter, most likely 'less productive' in terms of fish caught due to an overall lack of mobility, but will ultimately be some of your best time spent with him. I am looking forward to the time he first ASKS to go fishing with me, the first time he pulls one up through the hole, the first time he wants to drill the holes, the first time he wants to clean the fish...you get the idea!

[This message has been edited by sorenson (edited 11-21-2002).]

[Xplorer]

I'm in the same "boat" (or iceshack) as you. We had our first and he turns 5 months next week. The missus goes back to work Dec. 2nd and daycare starts. My fall fishing consisted of shorter morning trips where i was home by @11am (heck, i went out after the 4am feeding a couple times)
I know i wont get to do as much icing as before, but will take what time I can on short ice trips. I'm lucky to have a small panfish/pike lake close and a walleye river within 15 miutes of the front door.
I too cannot wait until I can take him along for a spell. He spent time in the boat at 5 weeks up on Kabetogama and Namakan this summer walleye fishing and loved it (the motor put him to sleep!)
Enjoy the time you get and use a couple of "mental health days" this winter.
Xplorer

[Guest]

ShdBFishin, I've got the perfect plan. Anytime you want to go out icefishing give me a call I'll bring my Wife over and drop her off, so the wives can hang out together and well go fishing. I think this will not only help you out, but me as well. If my wife is hanging out with your's and helping take care of your new baby, maybe that will delay my wife in wanting a baby so soon thus leaving us to fish more often.

In all seriousness though, it's tough to get away on those trips you used to love to do. I have been married for a year now and don't have a kid yet and I've already noticed a down turn in my fishing/hunting outings. I'm afraid to say it but I think it's going down hill from here. It's not as easy sneaking out if you've got the wife to please. My only advice is to make sure you get your honey-do-list done well in advance and let her know that you would like to get out after you have completed your tasks. But let her know well in advance as to when you would like to go fishing. The other thing I would suggest is volunteer to take care of the baby over a whole weekend and let her do a weekend with her friends. That will earn you some extra browny points. So when you want to go on that weekend trip up to Okaboji or Mille Lac's with me you are in! Good Luck!

If you need any help after that, well I could come and kidnap you from your wife/kid and you could always blame it on me.

Later,
WalleyeNate

[Ishmel]

I had a little one two years ago, and I know it slowed down my fishing for that year for sure. Last year got a little better, but now I have another little one (3 weeks old). So far it's worked out pretty well for me, because I convinced my wife that I HAVE to update my permanent house so I can take the two year old. (TV VCR combo, new bunks, new roof, new lights, carpet, paneling.) So I've gotten a lot of mileage out of the promise to fish with my daughter. Now here's hoping my daughter will want to go fishing so I can get some mileage out of actually taking her!

[Guest]

Well it sounds to me compromise, compromise, compromise is the answer. I've already started the honey-do-list and planning ahead. Speaking of which Nate, we need to decide what weekend we're going to Okoboji. I had better start planning my summer trips too. Gosh I'm going to miss those spur of the moment trips. Now it sounds like i need to go buy a few things so the boy can come fishin. New portable, two new poles, heater, lights, permanent, new vexilar so he can look at the flashing lights.......

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Jake

[ChapstickCharlie]

Ya know Shdbfishin, these guys all make great points. Buuuuuut just in case, I found some old thoughts on the subject from a fellow dunker. Maybe they‘ll lend something .

Okay here’s your best ruses (er excuses) in no particular order.

A) You announce the untimely demise of a distant child hood friend and the need for your presence there to help tidy up his affairs. This is often called the “ dear old dead friend Fred” ploy. This ruse is only effective if you remember to mention that friend Fred lived on Lake of the Woods. Also you will need a handy explanation for taking your new Fold down ice shelter with you.

If the message board shows everyone hammering the eyes and you can’t take another day of it, you may have to resort to questioning DNA validity of the little ones. This is known as the “Jenny Jones” ploy. Upside is that the results take so long to get back to you that the season will be well over and you will have enjoyed some quality time on the ice. Downside is the little woman may take a heck of a lot longer to come back. (Worse would be if the tests came back showing the wrong results!).

C) You simply stand up after dinner, stretch your arms way back behind you nonchalantly, (try not to accidentally fart at this point) and calmly announce your intentions to leave at first light in the morning for three days of ice fishing. This ploy was first tested by Fred, may he rest in peace, and has come to be known as the “Not a chance in ****“ploy. The trick to this one is to not really count on getting to go fishing, but to use that suicide effort to setup your Real try. As soon as your blushing bride has sufficiently recovered from her guffawing and holding of her sides and of course the milk out the nose thing, you slide it on out. “You know honey, I think a short trip would really strengthen the family, you know what I mean hon?”. The way in which this bad boy can backfire is when “hon” replies that you can take your dead friend Fred with you when you go , and besides he looks more like the kids than you do!

Hopin this helps? Chuck

[Mankato-Ice-Man]

I have a little guy that will be six months old real soon. He will not be going out at all this year, but maybe some next year and for sure the year after.
I am losing my best-est fishing buddy (wife) because we don't have a local baby sitter at all (25 minutes away, opposite of the lakes!), so I will be doing lots of fishing alone this year. My wife knows how much I love ice fishing, especially since I do not have a boat (yet), so it is about my only time to fish. I have never held her back from going here or there or spending time with her friends or family while I watch my little guy. I actually encourage her to get out. I know I am not going to go out 5 nights a week, but one week night and at least once a weekend will be the norm - sometimes more, sometimes less. I LOVE ice fishing, but not enough to let it take time away from my little guy or cause problems at home.

I guess -
1) Ask if fishing is more important that quality time with the kids and wife and adjust your expectations accordingly. Maybe you just go out less, but enjoy it more.
2) Make sure she is getting equal time with her hobbies and sanity time. Will make it easier when you ask for extra time away.
3) Do not over do it.
4) Keep the communication lines open. Let her know when you want to go, and tell her when you really have to go out.

I know that every second I am out there, alone or with friends, I am going to be thinking ahead a few years to when my little man is out there with me asking a million questions, pulling his line up every couple minutes to check the bait or glow up that neat jig, and missing not being home with him.

[This message has been edited by Mankato-Ice-Man (edited 11-21-2002).]

[Guest]

I am the SLAVE all week. I actually think some time my name has changed to "Honeycould you". But because of the consistant *** kissing, Saturdays are known as fishing days. If something comes up like camping or a week long trip up north, then the wife is the first to know, and I help her find a way so that she can have that time to herself as well. Compromise is the key to fishing.

[Guest]

I've heard enough! I'm getting rid of my girlfriend right now and moving to a hillside in canada.

[Big Dave2]

Shdbefishn, I'm glad you started this topic. I am in the same situation also, I have a 2 and a half year old. I just keep reminding my wife that she shoud cherish the time alone that she gets with our son now because it won't be very long and he will be going with me wherever I go. Fishing, hunting, to the fishing shows, and just plain being outside. I think sometimes she realizes this and is not so ticked about me leaving for the day or weekend or whatever.
Hang in there and remember that someday soon you will have your own fishin' buddy!

P.S. And it is also great for being allowed new toys and gagetry. I am already buying new gear like a bigger portable and a 2 person deer stand and it is all bought with the blessing of the better half. I just tell her it is for my son and she goes along with it. What a good scam!