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the vikqueens !!!!

the clam

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we,ll see what kind of team the vikes are if they trade moss , i mean what sense is it to trade the best reciever in the league i think we need new coaches and a new owner , mccombs isent a football coach he should stick to what he knows best , and tice who knows what he is i know this he waSENT any good on the feild either.. all i have to say is . I THINK THE VIKES NEED A WHOLE NEW FACE LIFT I MEAN A NEW NAME, COLORS , ETC IT WOULD DO THE TEAM SOME GOOD , CHANGE IS ALWAYS GOOD

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What are you smoking clam- have you been following the vikes the past couple years. one player dont make a team but can sure bring a team down- If you cant trade him-dump him. Take a secret poll of his team mates and see what they think

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Yes I am...

Application to Become a Green Bay Packer Fan

Name: ________________________________ CB Handle: ____________________________Neck Shade:___Light Red ___Medium Red ___Dark RedNumber of teeth in exposed full grin:___Upper ___Lower Mobile Home Color: __ Two-Tone; brown & white__ Two-Tone; pink & white__ Faded GreenModel of Pickup Truck: ___________Size of tires: __________Length of Right Leg: ____ Length of Left Leg: ______

1. I am in love with___My Right Hand ___ My Left Hand___Both Hands2. My favorite music:___Country ___ Western___Anything played on an accordion3. My Favorite Meal:___head cheese & Old Milwaukee___venison sausage & Old Milwaukee___cheese curds & Old Milwaukee___pickled pigs feet___$5.99 fish fry___7 course meal: brat and 6 pack of Old Milwaukee4. Preferred Weapon:___12 guage ___ forehead___tire iron ___ chain saw___ice auger5. Primary auto: ___'67 Ford Galaxy___'67 Ford Galaxy w/ transmission___'67 Ford Galaxy w/ '73 Chevy Impala tranny___'67 Ford Galaxy w/ '73 Chevy Impala tranny and '71 Buick engine6. I usually greet people by saying:___Ya hey dere___Dem Packers is a playing like a bunch of old women___Dey should take da whole bunch a dem Madison liberals and just line em up and shoot em7. I can count to:___10 ___ 20 if I take off my shoes___21, if I get naked Note: To be accepted, you must be honest and you must be able to check at least 20 items from the questions on these pages. Note that good Packer fans can sometimes check many answers for some of the questions.8. Favorite Reading:___fishing facts ___ beer bottle labels___Guns and ammo ___Today's Mercenary9. Things in my front yard:___car on blocks ___ transmissions___various kitchen appliances___deer hanging from tree (in season)___deer hanging from tree (out of season)10. My favorite female in the world:___my mom ___ my sister___both, cause I think my sister is my mother11. I mostly wear:___orange polyester ___Packer's baseball cap___Packer's belt buckle12. The most memorable event I ever attended:___Minocqua Moose Call Competition___Omega Outboard Motor Repair Finals___Lake Tomahawk Crew Cut Championships___Carp Queen Beauty Contest___Spread Eagle International Proctologists Convention13. My favorite entertainment:___deer hunting while drinking___watching Green Acres while drinking___snowmobiling while drinking14. Pick one:___someone is helping me read this___someone is reading this to me

If the print is too small for you to read or color around, then request the specially formatted “Pickled Packer Pack Favre Packer” form from the Packer Home Office.

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aww the love! I was hoping it would bring a smile. I've got more I'm just waiting for the packer backers to fire back so I can do the same.






Please answer the following questions to the best of your ability. There is no time limit. Be aware that some of the multiple choice questions may have more than one correct answer.

1) Is your name Ray Rhodes? YES NO

(if you selected yes, please skip to the end of this application)

2) True False Players should be allowed to miss team planes and team functions.

3) In the first half, your team has taken many long shots down field with few completions. You have not yet tried to establish the run. What adjustments do you make at halftime:

A) Make no adjustments. Tell Leslie Visser that you almost completed a couple of long passes, so you are going to try a few more in the second half to see what happens.

B) Try to establish the run to open up the passing game a bit more.

C) Attempt to complete some short passes to keep the safeties from cheating and giving huge cushions.

D) Chew on your gum and stare ahead blankly, as if nothing is going on around you.

4) Your team is trailing 14-13, at home. There is about 1:00 left in the game, and you have a first and ten on the opponents 25 yard line, with a 3-time MVP quarterback running the offense. Do you:

E) Kick the field goal on first down

F) Attempt to run two plays, possibly taking a shot into the end zone, then kick FG on 3rd down.

G) Punt

H) Chew on your gum and stare ahead blankly, as if nothing is going on around you.

5) Your starting safety has been out of position on many plays, and has been missing tackles all year long. Do you:

A) Allow him to continue playing as if nothing is wrong.

B) Take extra time with him in practice and the film room to isolate and correct his mistakes.

C) Bench him for a game or two and give a younger player a chance to start.

D) Chew on your gum and stare ahead blankly, as if nothing is going on around you.


6) You are in a close game that could be decided by one drive. Your team is moving the ball downfield on a critical, possible game winning drive. Your starting offensive lineman takes offense to what someone on the other team said about his mamma, and gets you a 30 yard penalty that stalls the drive and is ejected from the game. Do you:

A) Greet him at the sidelines with a slap on the butt and a “Good game buddy” statement.

B) Greet him at the sideline and rip his facemask off on national television.

C) Don’t greet him at the sideline, instead, in the locker room, make an example of him.

D) Chew on your gum and stare ahead blankly, as if nothing is going on around you.

7) Your QB has taken a time out during a critical drive to discuss strategy with you. Do you:

A) Ignore your QB during the entire time out, never once looking his way or talking to him.

B) Talk to your QB about what type of plays or strategy you would like to see the next few plays.

C) Call your offensive coordinator and solicit opinions from him.

D) Chew on your gum and stare ahead blankly, as if nothing is going on around you.

8) Your starting QB has a hurt thumb, and isn’t expected to improve for several weeks. Who do you focus the offense around until the QB’s thumb is healed:

A) The QB, because all those extra hits will help him heal faster. After all, if it doesn’t kill ya, it makes ya stronger, right?!

B) The RB, because he has proven himself to be durable, a playmaker, and can share the burden of the responsibility of helping the team win.

C) Discuss the matter with your offensive coordinater and key players, and come up with a plan together.

D) Chew on your gum and stare ahead blankly, as if nothing is going on around you.

9) Your team has repeated the same mistakes over and over again throughout the entire season, do you:

A) Do nothing, after all, these men are professionals, and will get it right eventually.

B) Take extra time on the practice field and film room with the entire team to isolate and correct mistakes.

C) Talk in private to a few key veterans, asking them to help light a spark under the rest of the team.

D) Chew on your gum and stare ahead blankly, as if nothing is going on around you.



10) There are 55 seconds left in the game, and you have 3 time outs. The opposing team is on your five yard line, and looks poised to score. If they do, they will be up by a field goal. The opposing team has opted to try and run the clock down as far as possible before taking the final play (did I mention you have 3 time outs left?). Your 3-time MVP quarterback is on the sidelines pleading with you to call a time out (remember, you have 3 of ‘em) so that he might have a chance to drive the team within field goal range to tie the game. Explain what you do, how you came to that decision, and whether or not your coaching staff, entire team, and 70,000 fans screaming for a time out would affect that decision.

This concludes the head coaching application for the Green Bay Packers. Please do not contact us again regarding this matter. If we are interested in pursuing you as a candidate, we will make contact with you.


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One more........

Wing Men

Twin brothers from Green Bay walk up to a US Air Force recruiting officer and tell them they'd like to join the service.

The officer asks the first twin, "What can you bring to the Air Force?"

"I'm a pilot", he replies.

"You're in," says the officer.

"I chop wood," offers the other twin.

"Sorry," says the officer. "We don't really need any wood choopers."

"But you hired my brother!"

"Sure," says the officer. "He's a pilot."

The brother rolls his eyes and replies, "Yeah, but I have to chop the wood before he can pile it!"

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Twas the week before playoffs

and Cheeseheads were sad,

They can't come to grips

that their team is plain bad.

Reggie's retiring

and Holmgren is history,

Favre's poppin' pills,

is there no end to their misery?

They tried lame excuses,

those Cheesehead whiners,

They, even got beat by

the overrated Niners.

So into their trailer homes

the Cheesers did scurry,

Like Favre on pain killers,

their vision was blurry.

Scuttled about

like a shepardless flock,

They crawled into bed

clutching worthless Packer stock.

Alas, but sweet dreams

now evade Titletown,

Replaced by the visions

of each Viking touchdown.

Over and over they replay

each Packer loss,

"Why'd we draft Holliday,

we coulda had Moss?"

Seeking solace from Santa

for their pathetic state,

"For what do we owe

such inglorious fate?"

So out from the trailer

Santa left with a bump,

"I hope you enjoy

your next 30-year slump!"

Yes, Packer fans

got too big for their britches,

How does it feel

to be the Vikings new complains?



The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your


You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner

table in front of her kids.

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different


Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all

watch this! "

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'

You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your family tree doesn't fork.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,

"Gentlemen, Start your engines."

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right

off its wheels.

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending

on how much gas it has in it.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same


You just need one more hole punched in your card to get a

freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Y'all can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law

against it.

You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

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smoke,n ? yeah ok . [PoorWordUsage] r u talking about who said one player makes the team ? i mearly said i thought he was the best reciever in the league, what r u smoken ? are you seeing statements that arent there , dident i say the whole team needs a change !!!! if you cant read ill be glad to read it to you !!!! matter of fact !!! go back and look and show me where i said moss is the team.. i like moss i like his attitude ! so what he has the courage to do the things he does! who cares! are you offended ? i hope not! the man can play football and hes an all around athlete take a team poll on that !!!! i think if he leaves the vikes he might actually go some where ... oh and for the anser to your question NO I HAVENT FOLLOWED THE VIKES THAT MUCH, why waste my time

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Is this you otto?????

packer wad.jpg

you should also have this bumper sticker on your Pinto


Your hero





You and your GB klan I see....


Favre admits to this.....

favre hillbilly.jpg

packers still suck!.gif

Favrein diapers.jpg

packers training facility.jpg



So Otto, you've got to have some better material brotha! I'm just killing you packer fans... all in fun of course. tongue.gif

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I did find this one today...


Once again the 'MINNESOTA EPIDEMIC' has stricken residents of Minnesota in almost epidemic proportions. The health risk that I speak of is the sudden movement of Minnesota football fans on and off the Viking Bandwagon.

SYMPTOMS: For some, they are much like THE BENDS ( a decompression sickness that affects divers) caused by the sudden dramatic movement on and off the figurative 'bandwagon'. More commonly the symptom is RAPID MOOD SWINGS that go from an unrealistic unhealthy emotional highs followed by just as unhealthy unrealistic lows. Typically these mood swings occur in 7 day intervals always centered around the Vikings game each weekend.

DORMANCY: While most years the symptoms remain dormant from January through mid August except for an occasional terrettes like muttering.. the peak risk period of risk is from September through December each year.

A CALL FOR COMPASSION: I don’t claim to be a medical professional, and so I honestly don’t understand this complex medical/mental condition, but I am writing you all because I am concerned. Like the good book says .. when one suffers we all suffer, and when all rejoice we all rejoice together… and since the Vikings only lose in Super Bowl games .. I FEEL YOUR PAIN even if I can’t relate.

TREATMENT: While the 'bandwagon condition' appears to have an addictive element, experts in this field (football field) say it is best dealt with by coming to grips with the following truths of life…

1. Realize a winning streak, let's say...6 games is nice, but is not the same as a Super Bowl win... or even means you will make the playoffs.

2. Losing 7 out of your last 10 games (for example) is disappointing, but are not as bad as losing 4 Super Bowls!! Oh, sorry I guess the Vikes have done that too. My bad.

3. and finally.. change your diet that is high in CHEESE.

Like I mentioned before I am not a doctor, but I believe coming to grips with the above 3 basic truths of life are great first steps into becoming healthy again.

Of course being a Packer fan we are often DELUSIONAL believing our team is always better than what they really are. But with 12 world championships including 3 Super Bowls.. it is easy to become delusional.

BUT I DIGRESS.. please pray for those affected directly or indirectly by this epidemic. Pray for a

healthy sports perspective that comes from knowing the one true God, or from a weekend in Wisconsin.

Thank you for caring enough to read and consider this prayer. - Jeff

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