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NASCAR Rule Book

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NASCAR Fans Rule Book

Rule #1- You most own at least 1 Banjo( If you own 2 or more you get better seats. Even better seats if you can actually play it.)

Rule #2- The fan with the least amount of teeth at a NASCAR party does not have to buy the beer(preferably Budweiser, This brand of beer feels better on the gums)

Rule #3- You must either have dated a cousin or have a brother or sister who is currently dating a cousin. ( If you have conceived children with a blood relative you will not need to make a deposit to reserve a skybox at NASCAR events)

Rule #4- All NASCAR fans MUST vote for G-DUBYA Bush.

Rule #5- NASCAR must always be referred to as a SPORT. Even though it is actually just an event like the Ice Capades, the Circus etc.

These are very simple rules and MUST be followed in order to call yourself a TRUE NASCAR FAN.

and of course... just a joke.

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Well, lets check the scorecard:

Rule 1: How 'bout if I play a moonshine jug?

Rule 2: As a fan of Rusty Wallace I am obligated to make the poor slob drink Miller Lite - even if it does sting the gums.

Rule 3: No comment on the grounds that it might tend to incriminate me...and my wife sister cousin daughter. Oh man, did I just say that out loud?

Rule 4: Don't let my daughter hear that or I'll never get to see another race!

Rule 5: I thought everyone considered Ice Capades a sport.

How'd I score?


[This message has been edited by bart simpson (edited 07-02-2004).]

[This message has been edited by bart simpson (edited 07-02-2004).]

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Extended rules

*6 Mullet rule 32.67a You must have your hair either A) High and tight in the front and long in the back or B) "Feathered on the sides and long in the back.

*7 You must have at least 3 house payments worth of dicast cars mounted on a hand made shelf displayed next to your favorite drivers picture in the livingroom/kitchen/spare bedroom.
(this does not mean 3 differant rooms)

*8 At no time are you allowed to use words with more than 3 sylables. *8 sub section 1 You are not allowed to spell "sylables" correctly.

*9 Unless you use it exclusively to chat on fishing minnesota's forum, You may not own or opperate any computorized equipment.
(note, a race scanner is not considered computorized equipment, as long as it was stolen, bought with the car payment money, or you are using a friends and have not returned it for more than 2 years.)

*0 And finally you must stop any rule book at number "*0" because there are no more numbers on the key pad and rule "*-" just doesnt look right.

I'd rather be fishing and think about church, than be at church and thinking about fishing!

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