Happy 71st B-Day Chuck!

[EBass]

Actor · Born: March 10, 1940

Where's Dark30 and the Norrisums?

"Round here we use Chuck Norris toilet paper. Rough, tough, and don't [PoorWordUsage] from no one!"

[mrklean]

for 71 that dude still looks like a bad a$$

[McGurk]

When Chuck goes swimming, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck!

[CAMAN]

71?! Seriously?!? Dayum, I wouldn't have guessed anywhere over 55! Guess he can kick the aging process's @$$ also.

[JBMasterAngler]

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter!

[reinhard1]

good luck.

[McGurk]

*** Removed by McGurk ***

[ozzie]

ummmmmmm no Japan felt it and now Hawaii might get it also!!!!! Darn Chuck when will he ever learn!!

[tacklejunkie]

I hope I'm that healthy at 71

[itchmesir]

The Beatles went to iTunes because Chuck Norris bought an iMac

if you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5.. Chuck Norris still has more money than you

[bucketmouth64]

Can you imagine what his grandkids say to people...don't pick on me or my grandpa will kick your butt, or better yet, my grandpa can kick your dad's butt.

[EBass]

Quote:

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the Devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the Devil in the face and took his soul back. The Devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

WARNING: Spoiler Alert for Santa!

Quote:

There is no Santa Claus. On Christmas Eve, Chuck Norris circumnavigates the globe in his pickup truck dispensing gifts to good children and roundhouse kicks to bad ones. The children, upon receiving these kicks, die.

Quote:

Chuck Norris loves Police Academy 2. This is the only reason Steve Guttenberg is still alive.

[JBMasterAngler]

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

[cbrooks]

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag people he potato sacks them