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DuckDog

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5 posts in this topic

Top 8 Morons of 2008

Something to SMILE about on this day:

_____________________________________________

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked

intellectual leadership He received a $26 million severance package.

Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had

barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters,

officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police

line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,kidnapped a motorist and forced

him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the

kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in

the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store

clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up

and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery

suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When

detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me

all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted 'that's not what I said!'

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???

A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her

contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the

doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!

In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a

Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to

simulate a gun . Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

(hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east

of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No

matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat,

going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much

power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted

into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what

was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working

condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the

propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped

in the water to check underneath . He came up choking on water, he was

laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securel y in place, was the trailer!

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They all qualify for the Bill Engvall's "Here's Your Sign" wink

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