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InTheSchool

Deer Hunting in 2050

23 posts in this topic

Hunting Synopsis 2050

Season – Saturday December 12 and Saturday December 19 (in 2016 the religious right got hunting on Sundays banned as being unethical and in 2020 the rest of the week was banned because many had to work and it wasn’t fair that some could hunt and others not. December was chosen as it was well past the rut and would be more ethical)

Shooting Hours – 9:00 AM – 12:00PM (in 2025 it was decided that it would be unethical to hunt before the deer had a proper chance to hide in their beds and they needed the rest of the time to do their deer business.)

Bag Limit – 1 antlered deer all non antlered deer seen. Definition of antlered deer – must have six visible points on one side. (In 2012 QDM convinced all hunters that only true trophies should be harvested taking small bucks would be unethical. The DNR introduces “doe decoys” in 2013 and hunters observed not shooting the decoys were heavily fined and had their hunting privileges revoked.)

Methods –

No stand hunting – a stand is defined as a hunter being immobile for more than 15 minutes. (Tree stands were made illegal after a 2030 shooting incident involving two hunter arguing over a tree to place their portable stand in within the Superior National Forest.)

No hunting on private land (After tree stands were made illegal enforcement on private land was found to be unconstitutional so having no other choice the DNR asked the legislature to make hunting on private land illegal. Anyone caught hunting on private land was subject to imprisonment and forfeited their land to the State.)

No hunting within one quarter of a mile of a field. A field is defined as an area lacking enough cover to conceal a D8 Crawler tractor. (This law was enacted in 2040 when it was found to be unethical to shoot deer at long range. Most hunters were not good enough riflemen to shoot the required 300 yards).

No use of ATVs or snowmobiles. (In 2041 it was finally agreed that anything other than foot traffic was unethical on public land)

Legal weapons – all .30 caliber carbines with open sights. Military personnel may use AR’s in .22 caliber. (High powered scoped rifles were made illegal after the invention of the super ultra short low recoil extra accurate .65 caliber smart rifle of 2037. Most hunters use a Winchester model 94 30-30. The AR’s were allowed to appease the NRA)

No part of any deer may be left in the woods – this includes all entrails and blood. (In 2027 the multiple use organization of Minnesota got this law passed as its members were disgusted by gut-piles left in the woods.)

All hunters must wear lime green with a picture of a scary animal on it. (In 2042 it decided it unethical to hunt in orange as deer could not see orange and the animal was added to make the hunters more visible to the animals. This was a life saver for the Arctic Plant in Thief River Falls as they switched from ATVs and Snowmobiles to hunting clothes. Polaris in Roseau was permanently closed in 2043.)

Hunter’s jackets must be made of Kevlar and have a raised collar. (In 2034 12 hunters were killed by animal attacks it was rumored but unconfirmed that they were killed by cougars.)

If two hunters see each other in the woods they must holler “Allie, allie in free” and immediately retrace their steps to the beginning of their hunt. (It was deemed unethical in 2029 to hunt where you could se another hunter).

Zone 3 will remain closed this year (all the deer in zone three were eradicated when a rare form of bovine STD was introduced to the herd in 2045 by hunters importing large bucks from Texas. All Goodhue county dairy herds were destroyed and the Town of Lewiston was quarantined until it was determined the disease was not spread by consuming the meat of an infected animal. Zone 4 was eliminated from hunting 2040 with the field law)

Wireless tracking devises – All hunters must carry a DNR registered tracking device. (This was made a law in 2048 after 4 hunters died in the swamps north of Fourtown after a blizzard. 6 more hunters nearly died in the same storm by Effie, however they were fined for violating the “Allie, allie in free” law as they banned together to survive the storm.)

License and fees – Resident - $12500 buck license plus $125 surcharge per doe shot

Nonresident - $125,000 buck license plus $125 surcharge per doe. (Bill Jordan, and the Drurey brothers bought the hunting rights to Illinois, Iowa, and Kansas so many of their hunters tried to come to Minnesota. The surcharge is paid directly to the automobile insurance companies for deer collisions.)

A footnote – Uncle Ted Nugent made his last appearance in Minnesota at Moon Dance Jam 2006. He publically wept for his “Blood Brothers” in Minnesota as they argued over the ethics of one anothers hunting methods.

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Lets hope not. The way things are going some of them don't seem too far fetched.

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This will never happen. The State wants to increase the amount of people who hunt, not decrease. How much money would the state miss out on if this were the laws, not many people would buy a license?

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Nice post!!!! Very impressed with the satire, you must have remembered something from english class.

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As ACDC sings it Listen to the "Money Talk" the almighty dollar although I don't know the carrying capacity of the deer hunter, how many more stands can be built when in my area every 20 acres has a stand or two on it or around it.

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seems to be the way things are going. More regulations on everything. Heck, if a-rs are still around in 2050 I would be suprised.

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great imagination lol but some are a little far-fetched.

some i agree with like ATV's on public land for example...but what do i know, im old fashioned. and banning hunting on sundays was already brought up by some religion nut job.

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That was some funny stuff right there...hahaha! How about some of you just relax a tad who didn't find that funny. The part about Bill Jordan and the Drury brothers made me laugh out loud. grin

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Okay now those regs are hilarious, but they're already outdated. It would be the Southern 3/4's of Zone 2 that were eliminated with the no field hunting statute. Zone 4's already gone.

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Great post. My response is that the road to [PoorWordUsage] is paved with good intentions and I think that the QDM and the catch and release crowd is going to usher in some bad times for hunting and fishing, while having good intentions.

The further we get away from just going out and catching a stringer of fish to eat and keep moving towards catching fish only to release is when we've really armed our enemies with tools to question our ethics. Would you shoot a deer with a tranquilizer gun, snap some photos and then revive it for release?

When we only care about shooting large inedible-antlered deer and focus less on getting outdoors for the experience with hopes of shooting some venison for the freezer, we've left our outdoor heritage behind and we've opened the doors again for our enemies to question what exactly it is that we're doing out there. Do we need to only harvest deer with "six points on each side" that are so old and tough that we do nothing more than cape it out and cut the head off for mounting and leave the rest?

I think many of you have lost your way and need to start thinking about what it is we're doing and what we want hunting and fishing to be. If we don't, this picture painted might sound like the good old days by 2050.

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Don't want to even think how screwed up our DNR will be by then LOL!!! Funny post, but probably fairly realistic

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Nice post, Piker.

Having hunted deer for 35 years I've seen the change.

Don't worry about PETA, we're doing it to ourselves.

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Piker,

You got exactly what I was driving at. Hunting has to be about family, friends, and being outdoors. And it has to be about the opportunity to kill. What to kill and how to kill is an individual choice. Managment is a road full of curves and bumps. Micromanagment may be a dead end road.

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Hunting Synopsis 2050

Season – Saturday December 12 and Saturday December 19 (in 2016 the religious right got hunting on Sundays banned as being unethical and in 2020 the rest of the week was banned because many had to work and it wasn’t fair that some could hunt and others not. December was chosen as it was well past the rut and would be more ethical)

Shooting Hours – 9:00 AM – 12:00PM (in 2025 it was decided that it would be unethical to hunt before the deer had a proper chance to hide in their beds and they needed the rest of the time to do their deer business.)

Bag Limit – 1 antlered deer all non antlered deer seen. Definition of antlered deer – must have six visible points on one side. (In 2012 QDM convinced all hunters that only true trophies should be harvested taking small bucks would be unethical. The DNR introduces “doe decoys” in 2013 and hunters observed not shooting the decoys were heavily fined and had their hunting privileges revoked.)

Methods –

No stand hunting – a stand is defined as a hunter being immobile for more than 15 minutes. (Tree stands were made illegal after a 2030 shooting incident involving two hunter arguing over a tree to place their portable stand in within the Superior National Forest.)

No hunting on private land (After tree stands were made illegal enforcement on private land was found to be unconstitutional so having no other choice the DNR asked the legislature to make hunting on private land illegal. Anyone caught hunting on private land was subject to imprisonment and forfeited their land to the State.)

No hunting within one quarter of a mile of a field. A field is defined as an area lacking enough cover to conceal a D8 Crawler tractor. (This law was enacted in 2040 when it was found to be unethical to shoot deer at long range. Most hunters were not good enough riflemen to shoot the required 300 yards).

No use of ATVs or snowmobiles. (In 2041 it was finally agreed that anything other than foot traffic was unethical on public land)

Legal weapons – all .30 caliber carbines with open sights. Military personnel may use AR’s in .22 caliber. (High powered scoped rifles were made illegal after the invention of the super ultra short low recoil extra accurate .65 caliber smart rifle of 2037. Most hunters use a Winchester model 94 30-30. The AR’s were allowed to appease the NRA)

No part of any deer may be left in the woods – this includes all entrails and blood. (In 2027 the multiple use organization of Minnesota got this law passed as its members were disgusted by gut-piles left in the woods.)

All hunters must wear lime green with a picture of a scary animal on it. (In 2042 it decided it unethical to hunt in orange as deer could not see orange and the animal was added to make the hunters more visible to the animals. This was a life saver for the Arctic Plant in Thief River Falls as they switched from ATVs and Snowmobiles to hunting clothes. Polaris in Roseau was permanently closed in 2043.)

Hunter’s jackets must be made of Kevlar and have a raised collar. (In 2034 12 hunters were killed by animal attacks it was rumored but unconfirmed that they were killed by cougars.)

If two hunters see each other in the woods they must holler “Allie, allie in free” and immediately retrace their steps to the beginning of their hunt. (It was deemed unethical in 2029 to hunt where you could se another hunter).

Zone 3 will remain closed this year (all the deer in zone three were eradicated when a rare form of bovine STD was introduced to the herd in 2045 by hunters importing large bucks from Texas. All Goodhue county dairy herds were destroyed and the Town of Lewiston was quarantined until it was determined the disease was not spread by consuming the meat of an infected animal. Zone 4 was eliminated from hunting 2040 with the field law)

Wireless tracking devises – All hunters must carry a DNR registered tracking device. (This was made a law in 2048 after 4 hunters died in the swamps north of Fourtown after a blizzard. 6 more hunters nearly died in the same storm by Effie, however they were fined for violating the “Allie, allie in free” law as they banned together to survive the storm.)

License and fees – Resident - $12500 buck license plus $125 surcharge per doe shot

Nonresident - $125,000 buck license plus $125 surcharge per doe. (Bill Jordan, and the Drurey brothers bought the hunting rights to Illinois, Iowa, and Kansas so many of their hunters tried to come to Minnesota. The surcharge is paid directly to the automobile insurance companies for deer collisions.)

A footnote – Uncle Ted Nugent made his last appearance in Minnesota at Moon Dance Jam 2006. He publically wept for his “Blood Brothers” in Minnesota as they argued over the ethics of one anothers hunting methods.

2051 A band of area "OLD SCHOOL HUNTERS" charge the Enforcement headquarters and take it over.With in 2 hours every stupid law and restriction made between the year's 2009 and 2050 where retracted

All hunters live happy ever after. laugh Thats just how I see it happening.

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