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swedishpimple

The Wife or Hunting which one needs to go??

91 posts in this topic

I have been working a lot over the past 5 years and have little to no time for hunting and fishing. When I do get a chance I catch h-e-doublehockeysticks from the wife for being gone all the time.

I was on a 4 day trip but was home the morning of the day we left and the afternoon when we got back. I was gone deer hunting opening weekend and last weekend. Not sure about this weekend or muzzleloader. I understand is is a month of weekends I am hunting, but still very little compared to so many other guys.

I hope in the future to have accomodations at deer camp so she can come with.

Not sure if I want to deal with this [PoorWordUsage] every hunting season for the next 50 years.

How do you other guys and gals deal with this issue??

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I told my wife this is who I am and if it doesnt make you happy to see me happy for a few weekends a month then.... That part is up to you!!! Maybe there is some other ddeep seeded problem?

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Take her with. I met my girlfriend three years ago, she didn't fish but had deer hunted a couple of times. she now loves every kind of hunting deer, turkey, grouse, ducks and especially loves to ice fish. Not saying she should go out everytime, but just enough to show her why you love to do it and hopefully she will too. With time she should understand. Alot better then giving up hunting, or the wife, whatever choice you make.

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You got both sides and everything in the middle.

The only way to know is to find out what she has a problem with. Is it because you're gone? Do you not spend enough time (I hate that one) or maybe she's just jealous.

I try to balance it by making sure she has plenty of free time too, but if she just is upset that you're off having fun and she's not than you may not be compatible.

Talk it out and maybe there is an easy solution. If not, it wouldn't be worth the hassle to me. Fortunately my wife is ok with my free time as long as I don't abuse her kindness. I've turned down more than a few offers to go because I've already spent two or three weekends that month out of town.

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just give her the checkbook or credit card that should even it out right? lol j/k i bring my gf with she loves to ice fish but towards the end of the season last yr she dropped her phone down the hole so idk how that will go this yr

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Dude! Work it out! A few weekends of hunting is hardly worth it. You will lose a significant portion of your income, disposable or otherwise if you mess up. A few words of advice, tell her ahead of time, give her ample warning in the future as to your hunting schedule and take her needs into consideration! You married her for a reason and hunting and fishing can wait but be sure to let her know in a nicxe manner how much it means to you. Go check out the movie fireproof with her and count your blessings. I am probably in the minority but you have to take her needs into consideration and come to a comparable schedule. IMHO.

Tunrevir~

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Your wife must read your posts.... whistle Except for maybe the monetary reason you mentioned for staying married...

No but I think you're right, It can be figured out. Since I met my wife 12 years ago, she knew right from the start what I was in to. Now we have 2 kids and responsibilities and my time has been cut back somewhat, but that's to be expected. I still get out more than alot of guys I know in the same situation...you just have to give her her time as well, it is supposed to be an equal deal...

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No, No, this "not enough time for her" is [PoorWordUsage]-pie. I see my wife only a few times a week, and everything is fine. She works late shifts, and I work in the morning. I have friends that are hear the same whining and they all work 9-5 jobs or the women don't work at all. You have the rest of the year (if she is lucky) to spend time together. Take her with if you have to, but most deer camps don't get along well with women. Fishing would probably be OK.

If you have kids it may be a little different, but still, fall is only a small part of the year. If they need help with the kids, you are already in trouble. There are plenty of single parents who do this every day.

Like I said, most of my buddies can only leave the house if they are working. Kind of a poor way to live, if you ask me.

Also, when you can, let her do a few things or take her out. She is the most important part of your life, but your life can only be what you make it.

After you go out hunting and have nothing else to do. STAY HOME! It makes all the difference in the world if you are there for their every need when you can be. Then the other times, they can learn to do things on their own.

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Its a tought spot to be in, try and get her to go along, or reason with her, take her out to dinner the night before you leave for a weekend of hunting, from what i have found you can make them happy with flowers and dinner, or buy them stuff :P try and talk it out first dumping her should be the last option

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The question has crossed my mind, but then I woke up and said WOW!!! Hunting is a passion for me and it is extremely important to me, but if you look at the big picture if your anything like me you would have a lot to lose with your kids and wife and everything she will get after she takes you to the cleaners.

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Interesting question, I am not sure there is "one" right answer, I mean I have hunting buddies who range from he can go at a moments notice and his wife is OK with it to one that can go every weekend to yet another that can only go on one trip per season then he's done. All of them either praise or cuss their wife for their understanding or lack there of, you can decide which one does which. Myself, I definately hunt less than I use to before being married but that that is my choice (atleast that's what my wife tells me). I doubt any of this can really help you though, what I am trying to say is it is really a couples decision as to how much fun the husband can have. Spit.

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You could always make it so miserable at home that she begs you to go hunting. lol

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Just because one couple are okay sharing a couple hours a week together doesn't mean your wife is that way.

Everyone has their own ideas about how much time a couple should be together. If you differ than find a compromise. If she won't compromise, or if you won't then it might be time to move on.

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Tell her she has a choice. You either go hunting or you have sex. It's win/win. For you any way.

SORRY IF THIS OFFENDS ANYONE!

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This is what works for me: every time I make plans to be gone for a weekend of fishing or hunting, we schedule another weekend for time together doing something she enjoys, such as antiguing, shopping, or visiting her friends out of state. It's all about making concrete plans. As long as she knows she has something on the calendar to look forward to in which I'm making a sacrifice for her, she has no problem making a sacrifice for my hunting and fishing addiction.

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well a hard question to answer without explaining my entire relationship, but ill do my best. shes a vegetarian because she gets grossed out by dead things, and hates the idea of gutting a deer. i cant keep deer meat in my house, and i dont talk to her about shooting animals, but she likes to see me happy and thank god for that, i get to go deer hunting two weekends a year. i try to keep her happy during that time and make sure i spend enough time with her, and dont treat her bad. im happy and she should be too. also, shes wonderful to me during winter when i ice fish. i like to go out once a week at least, and as long as i dont neglect her, i am able to do that.

I would love to take her with me, hunting and fishing. but thats not the girl i married. i just thank god i am able to get out there, even without her its still fun.

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how does that song go..?

I'm gonna miss her...when I get home...right now I'm in my treestand sitting in the sun ...I'm sure it'll hit me when I walk through that door tonight...I'm gonna miss her ..hey looky there..that's a buck alright wink

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A story from a buddy of mine at his pre-marriage class.

The priest walks in and asks how many guys play softball and a few guys raise their hands. Then he asks how many guys go hunting and a few more guys raise their hands. Lastly he asks how many guys go fishing and at this point nearly every guy in the room has his hand raised. The preist then says, "And ladies, you are not going to change him!" and all the guys cheer loudly. True story.

I made my wife date me through three deer seasons (I bow and gun hunt) so she knew what she was getting into. I have cut back my hunting time a bit since we had a kid but I still go out. My wife has taken up scrape (I mean scrap) booking so she gets some get away weekends doing that and we call it even. She even started a hunting scrap book for me!

If you love to hunt you need to get out and do it. I think you need to find something for your wife to do so she feels like it has evened out.

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ArcheryStud, Thats a good story!

Yeah not a good situation to be in...my wife has "tried" to put the clamps down on my hunting and ice fishing seasons for many years. She claims she is a widow from Sept to ice out. It used to be really bad, but as the years went on, the agreements kinda dwindled. She started to understand that I'm happier in the fall/winter time, when I'm hunting/ice fishing...If we had to spend a weekend together during the hunting season, I didn't make it very enjoyable for her or myself...So maybe I held somewhat of a grudge? Something that has helped, just as of last years ice fishing season...i got her on the ice with me for the first time. She ended up enjoying it so much, we went out together every chance we got. The most enjoyable part about it was...My 6 yr old daughter is a pro ice fisher, and begs to go. it was fun watching my daughter "teach" mom all the tricks, which I've taught her. My daughter felt like she was on top of the world...But getting back to the topic..

One thing that really helped for me is...at the beginning my wife didn't have a hobby. She was working and going to school FT...so the time wasn't really there either. Upon her graduating from college...I pushed and pushed her to find a hobby...So she could understand how much your addicted to your hobby. So like others have said in regards to their wife's hobbies...She got into scrapbooking. When she mentions she's going to spend a weekend with the girls, I don't say anything except for, "Have a good time". And believe it or not, she is encouraging me to go hunting so she can get pictures to scrap with. I'm not a huge fan of having my hunting pictures decorated with doillies, stickers, etc. But I can live with the trade off...So as requirement of me going hunting, is I better take pictures. So it ends up being a win-win situation for both of us.

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I've been married for 31 years and although I'm not a deer hunter, I do spend a few weekends a year away for art shows, photo excursions and maybe an occasional fishing weekend. My wife has no problem with it. She just tells me I'm nuts. However, she'll spend a couple weekends away each year with friends or to stay at one of our daughter's for a few days. I have no problem with that. I have my interests and she has hers, and I believe that's important. The significant other needs to have her own friends and own interests. Otherwise, she'll just sit and stew while you are gone. There does need to be limits, though. Personally, I think most wives would get a little cranky if their husband was gone weekend after weekend.

However, if this is the only problem with your marriage, I'd suggest cutting back on hunting some. A marriage is much more important than a couple more weekends in the woods. Also, wives do soften as time goes on. Eventually, she'll be glad to see you go.

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As stated before, when we got married my wife knew what she was getting into. She has a brother that hunts and she is from up nort so that helps.

Keep in mind that you are two separate people. Not all the things that you do she is going to like and visa versa (sp)

I try to spend more time with my wife prior to hunting and it helps that she will have her mom, sister and friends at the house while I'm deer hunting. She also understands that the fall is my time to do what I want. I say she understands, I didn't say she likes it.

Come the end of the year she is pretty frazled, thats when it is up to me to make it up to her.

When I was growing up my Dad was a big hunter, one year Mom had the kitchen remodeled while he was gone. Not much he could do about it.

Good luck and think long and hard about the consequences of your actions.

Mike

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I have fished and hunted since I was knee high to a grasshopper. My wife knew I enjoyed this and it has never been an issue.

I will say this, when I'm gone, she will go shopping and go out with the girls and I have no issues with that at all. This way, she also has her own time out too.

If she wants some new things for the house, I try hard not to say no so when I want a few new hunting and fishing toys, I don,t hear that its all about me and nothing for her.

It works great.

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I get [PoorWordUsage] for going fishing and hunting and I have told her it's not my fault I have hobbies I enjoy. I asked her if she wanted to get involved, her response was not a chance. Then I told her to find some hobbies of her own and to get over it.

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