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tedl

Why does it cost so much to adopt?

21 posts in this topic

My wife and I have talked about adoption but I did not realize the cost. Why would it cost so much to give a child a home.

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Among other things, the fees you pay go towards counseling, legal consultation to get through all the state laws and paying for all the social work.

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That is a real shame that it cost so much!! I do not feel the need to bring in to the world one of my own, but at least give one that has already been born a chance at a good life.

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Personally if a couple decide to adopt I believe all costs should voided,The child will have a home.

I also think a complete investigation into the adopters should take place,and two to three year visits from a agency (other than CPS)To keep children safe from abusers.

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Personally if a couple decide to adopt I believe all costs should voided,The child will have a home.

I also think a complete investigation into the adopters should take place,and two to three year visits from a agency (other than CPS)To keep children safe from abusers.

I have been married 10 years and the reason I don't have children is the cost scares me. I want to provide the best I can.

I feel there are enough humans on this planet that I do not need to add to the Population, but rather bring one up that is already here.

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Kidd, have you ever gone through an adoption? Curious where you get your information from?? Cause if it's what you say, why is it around 12k for a black child, 20+k for a bi-racial child, 25+k for a hispanic child and over 30K for a white child? These are facts, I've been through it and you can call and agency and find this out for yourself. It ticked me off to no end and I let our agency have it. They said they agree, but there is nothing they can do. It's pretty sad that we price our children as supply and demand.

You have to pay five grand just to get started before they'll even start looking. Now I'm not a rocket scientist, but that's a little high for two eight hour classes and a three hour home visit. Then you find the child and have to pay doctors fees and the fees of the other agency the child is with. In our case, we paid foster care for our baby, doc bills for about seven gread, the other 12 (for the FL adoption center) was for their time and paper work. Adds up quick when you charge a dollar a page for copies, faxes, and everything else. Course there are small court costs as well. Then you get your baby home and your agency calls you and tells you there is a $500 finder fee and a $500, well don't remember the name of that fee, but you get the idea. I JOKINGLY called it "closing costs". Now, after all that it was about 23 grand give or take a couple of hundred.

That being said, it was the best in I've ever done in my life!! If I had the money I would have paid tripple just to have a child. You can't put a price on them, but they do price a lot of parents out of them, which is very unfortunate. Keep in mind as well that the new laws let you deduct 10k of adoption costs and also check with your employer, some give money for adoptoins. Ours helped out with a thousand and I know some folks who have received five thousand. So check all options out there. I also know some people that have done fund raisers for adoption.

Ted, my wife and I are working on a second adoption. We are going through a program this time that covers almost all of the costs if not all of the costs. If you would like more information, email me at s_e_hendricks at comcast.net and I'd be happy to let you know all the information I have. Adoption is a wonerful thing and anyone who would love a child should be able to have a child.

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Great post Shane. I know you guys went through a lot to get your little girl, and I know from talking with you and fishing with you that it was worth every bit of it for you. Adoption is a great thing, I wish there were more like you out there, there are so many children that go from foster home to foster home all their lives. We all know that can't be easy on a child. Providing a stable environment to grow up in is absolute #1 for children.

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Personally if a couple decide to adopt I believe all costs should voided,The child will have a home.

I also think a complete investigation into the adopters should take place,and two to three year visits from a agency (other than CPS)To keep children safe from abusers.

Sparce, I agree with the cost being voided, which that was the case, but there are ways depending on what you are willing to do. It's better that they are in your home than in a foster home and getting bounced around. Imagine being a child and having your life turned upside down every few years when the foster parents decide they don't want you anymore. cry These kids break my heart when I see them, it's hard to go through the process.

There is a very extensive investigation for the adoptive parents. You have to get background checks from everywhere you have lived in the last ten years with a letter from the sheriff saying you are not wanted. You have to be finger printed and have a check run on those. You have to go to the BCA and get a complete crimal background check done on each of you. You also have to go to parental and multi-cultural classes. Then they come in your home and check it over and interview you and how your marriage is. They run you through the ringer and you feel as though your life has been invaded with the amount of paperwork and finacial/criminal background check. But keep in mind, this is for the children's own sake. I had no problem going through it, have nothing to hide, but I know some parents we started classes with didn't finish.

I wish we could check paternal parents half as much as adoptive before they can have kids. This part, is a good thing. It doesn't cost a ton in the grand scheme, few hundred if even. Just depends on where you have lived. If you've lived in MN and one or two counties for ten years, then you are getting buy with just a check or two.

Don't let any of this scare or deture you if you are interested. It's the most worthwhile thing you will ever do.

I saw Ted say something about worrying about the cost of a child. It is spendy, but again worth it as I'm sure any parent would tell you. Many people do it, and you always find the money to take care of your kids, even if you have to go without fine dining, a bunch of new clothes or whatever.

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Great post Shane. I know you guys went through a lot to get your little girl, and I know from talking with you and fishing with you that it was worth every bit of it for you. Adoption is a great thing, I wish there were more like you out there, there are so many children that go from foster home to foster home all their lives. We all know that can't be easy on a child. Providing a stable environment to grow up in is absolute #1 for children.

Thanks Tom. I know of lot of people have said we are great to adopt a child. But I'll let you all in on a secret, it was pretty selfish. shocked We just couldn't imagine our lives without a child and we went with the adotion. Yea, I believe our daughter has a better life with us and is very well loved. But it was the fact that we really wanted a child to open our hearts to.

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Shane,

in no way is this selfish. It's the most generous, UNSELFISH thing you could have done. To open your home to a child who would have spent the majority of her minor life in foster homes is one of the greatest things a person could do in this day and age.

I have a niece who had to give her kids up to a foster home. The best thing is, the kids were placed permanently in this home together (legally adopted) and in the same town where they began their lives.

KUDOS to you Shane and best of luck on future ventures.

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Kidd, have you ever gone through an adoption? Curious where you get your information from??

No, but I have been involved in organizing fund raising events and other charitable activities for a local non-profit adoption agency. I certainly don't know enough about the entire process to tell you why the cost is different but I do believe (and could very well be wrong) that lowering the price of non-whites and kids with special needs, is more of an incentive as they are not in as high of demand.

Sorry, that's all I got. blush

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I don't disagree with you Kidd, I think it is because the white kids are more wanted. I just think it's sad that we put prices like that. Like I said before, it actually torkes me off quite a bit.

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why is it around 12k for a black child, 20+k for a bi-racial child, 25+k for a hispanic child and over 30K for a white child?

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! I cannot believe that is how it is! A child is a FREEKIN child! Who FLIPPIN cares what color it is!

That there is a problem!

Prop's out to those who adopt!

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Add to this the cost of fertility treatments and Invitro many have already paid.

Where else does it cost so much to do a great thing?

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I know it is very expensive to adopt nowadays, my sister and myself were both adopted in the late 60's and early 70's and it was about 6K back then from talking to my dad.

If you were to have a child (even with insurance) your total bill with everything going right would be around 15-17K, any complications or anything or an emergency C-section more like 24K. Granted insurance does help, but with adoption there are many agencies, non-profits, and possibly your own company will help eliminate some of those costs...

My thought is this, bottom line, when it comes to kids, they are expensive, they aren't getting cheaper, and that the cost should be the last thing to worry about, good luck and hopefully everything works out for you

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First of all, good luck with your adoption!

Secondly, I can't let this slide, Kidd...

I certainly don't know enough about the entire process to tell you why the cost is different but I do believe (and could very well be wrong) that lowering the price of non-whites and kids with special needs, is more of an incentive as they are not in as high of demand.

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After spending 15K+ trying to have my own child...I can't spend another $30K to adopt one.

My wife and I decided to invest in out nieces and nephews instead. There will always be that empty hole in out lives with no kids...but when you can't afford it, you can't afford it. And, there comes a point where you give up.

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First of all, good luck with your adoption!

Secondly, I can't let this slide, Kidd...

Originally Posted By: Kidd

I certainly don't know enough about the entire process to tell you why the cost is different but I do believe (and could very well be wrong) that lowering the price of non-whites and kids with special needs, is more of an incentive as they are not in as high of demand.

That basically contradicts your earlier attempt was to say that all the costs are for counselling, etc...

Originally Posted By: Kidd
Among other things, the fees you pay go towards counseling, legal consultation to get through all the state laws and paying for all the social work.

Fact is, there has to be a TON of people making a TON of money off of the adoption process if it costing not only 20k+, but also costing more or less depending on what color the kid is! That's ridiculous.

I do hope that anyone who chooses to go through one of these "non profit" agencies to adopt does so only after careful examination of where all the fees are going. My guess is that many who work for these "non profit" adoption agencies live in very nice houses and drive very nice cars. Not that I'm cynical...

A couple of things:

I didn't say all cost, I said "Among other things". Non-profits, like any for-profit organization still has budgets and operating cost. So besides the obvious operating expenses, the not so obvious cost have to do with state and federal regulation and oversight.

Now, to be a little cold, you can assign a cost to each child based on the overall expense of doing business. A child with special needs is obviously going to cost the adoptive parents more to raise and therefore cannot command the same kind of up front expense as the healthy child. So, the agency still has to cover it's overall expenses so it will charge more for an in-demand child to cover overall expenses incurred.

One thing I would like to ask you is; why the shot at non profits? If you have some facts that support your belief it would be beneficial for folks looking at adoption as an alternative. Also, what's your personal experience with non profits? Mine, where minimal compared to the folks running theses things on a day to day basis, is nothing but positive and run by well meaning individuals.

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After spending 15K+ trying to have my own child...I can't spend another $30K to adopt one.

My wife and I decided to invest in out nieces and nephews instead. There will always be that empty hole in out lives with no kids...but when you can't afford it, you can't afford it. And, there comes a point where you give up.

Hammer Handle, have you and your wife ever considered an older child between 5 and 18? If you are open, there are a lot of MN waiting children that are in foster care and need good homes. There are a little more classes involved and it might be a longer wait depending on what you are open too, but they will pay the majority of your adoption. These kids need homes. I know everyone wants babies, but it's pretty sad when you look into the older children out there.

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Originally Posted By: Hammer Handle
After spending 15K+ trying to have my own child...I can't spend another $30K to adopt one.

My wife and I decided to invest in out nieces and nephews instead. There will always be that empty hole in out lives with no kids...but when you can't afford it, you can't afford it. And, there comes a point where you give up.

Hammer Handle, have you and your wife ever considered an older child between 5 and 18? If you are open, there are a lot of MN waiting children that are in foster care and need good homes. There are a little more classes involved and it might be a longer wait depending on what you are open too, but they will pay the majority of your adoption. These kids need homes. I know everyone wants babies, but it's pretty sad when you look into the older children out there.

Absolutely! THESE are the kids that need the homes.

My wife and I adopted our son over 8 years ago. I don't recall the complete cost of everything but I know it was well over $20,000. But that was for a healthy, Caucasian, new born.

To be honest with you people used to say things to us like we were such good people to give a child a home and all of that but truth-be-known it is my son who did us the favor. A new-born, white, healthy baby will never end up in foster care or anything like that. There are many very good families who have gone through the diligent adoption process outlined by Sanndmand above for every one of these babies. There are a lot more families wanting children then there are babies of this type.

If you really want to help a child or make a difference I would suggest you look into programs like Minnesota's waiting children. These programs cost almost nothing and you would then indeed be making a difference in a kids life.

Like Sandmannd said, I also feel that what we did was somewhat selfish. If I were to do it again I would go the route of Minnesota,s waiting children.

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