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Grant

An appeal for respectfulness in the Forums.

50 posts in this topic

First, please let me emphasize that this isn't directed at any individual or group of individuals in any way, shape or form.

it is intended for all on this forum, and indeed the entire FM board, who can at times find themselves a bit wound up over one subject or another.

Over the time I've spent on FM, I've seen a number of rather heated discussions, to the point in many cases of the thread having to be locked due to some individuals becoming abusive to other members of the FM community.

Some examples... there have been a number of threads recently about the sitting President and his motivations for entering into hostilities in Iraq and Afghanistan, whether or not this was warranted, who may or may not be pulling the strings and whatnot; the NEA and it's motivations regarding the subjects taught in our public schools; the price of oil, $4 per gallon of gas and who it's good for; the Valleyfair beating; Obama vs. McCain leading up to November; the meaning of the Second Amendment; how sales of sporting licenses are declining, to opinions on the GLBT lifestyle. The list goes on and on.

An individual's opinion of _ANY_ of the above matters, and indeed any topic whatsoever, are matters that I believe we all should honor and respect, even if we don't agree with it. I personally have very strong beliefs on a great many subjects- that being said, if another believes otherwise on this subject or that, I will respect that person's beliefs and indeed not only respect but also protect their right to hold those beliefs. All I ask in return is the same courtesy extended to my holding of my beliefs as well.

We need to remember that we have the full range of folks in the FM community, and that the opinions and beliefs of all are valuable, and legitimate.

We can debate, and even argue the particulars without resorting to ad hominem attacks upon one another; I'll appeal to all of your better natures to remember that we are best served in debate to engage the message, not the messenger.

I know I'm not the first to make this appeal, and I'm quite positive that I wont be the last. Indeed, much of my sentiment is already addressed once in the sticky thread started by Rick about the rules for posting in this forum; however in light of some recent discussions and interactions, I feel compelled to renew the appeal for calm and reason in our discussions. We have a phenomenal resource in the collective intellect on FM. I have seen some outstanding discussions, that bring an individual to realize what these forums have to offer.

So please, to any among us that find themselves wound tight enough that they are personalizing the argument, that they begin to attack the messenger instead of the message; that they begin to lose the control over their anger, take a step back and a deep breath, and make sure that we don't allow ourselves to slip.

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God. Whats wrong with you!!!! You have major problems! laugh j/k I agree. Its not just on this site but everywhere, and not just the internet.(yes, I am guilty too) I try not to post down here anymore. However, we do need to take everything with a grain of salt. If people want to "attack" others or whatever, let it be their problem and just roll with it. By the way..... GW SUCKS grin

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Grant is absolutely right. Many people personalize a disagreement on a topic, and from that point on the debate goes downhill.

One thing to keep in mind, just cuz I or someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean you are being attacked personally. A lot of the topics in this forum revolve around politics and it seems some folks take their politics to the extreme. The left and right can debate as long as both sides stay away from attacking the other person, debate the stance not the person. With some if they can't persuade the other to their views they try to ridicule the other, not good. It is just politics, it is not like it is life or death, or even fishing grin

Negative labels don't help either. It is on the same line as name calling. Use a negative label or call me or someone else something perceived as negative name and a persons hackles comes up and then the personal pot shots start.

Some threads get so bad, it is hard to participate.

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Grant, Thank you for the reminder. I don't post in here too often because there are a lot of heated arguements. It is important to realize that we are all human, and all have differing opinions on every topic imaginable. It is okay for people to have different opinions, it is not okay for others to harass any individual over their views. I along with just about everyone else has been guilty of this at one point in time or another, but I try my best to not say or type things to intentionally hurt someone. I can only hope the rest will take a second to make that same choice.

Once again, Thanks Grant.

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When someone responds to a posters opinion with a personal insult it's because they feel over matched or frustrated. They realize they cannot successfully defend their position on a particular topic based on the facts and they have given up so they launch a personal attack to satisfy their ego. Simply thank them for getting personal and conceding to your point of view. If nothing else, that really ticks 'em off!

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Then can we sing row row your boat. can we? please. Can we?

And if were really good then Barnical Bill grin

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I blame it all on the sidebar showing most recent posts. I get tricked into reading the 'Keep it Civil' challenge all the time now.

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I hate you all sleep

Everyone is wrong but me smirk

You are attractive, I am not so good looking frown

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I'll admit- I am truly disappointed in how some have chosen to exhibit the precise behavior that I was appealing against- now I don't know, and indeed cannot know your motivations. I had hoped for a more, shall we say mature response.

Not once have I asked for anything but mutual respect for and by the users and readers of these forums.

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i dont know but i thought there were mature responses here with a tadbit of humor injected. even so that i have my own agenda and opinions i like to think that i look at things for the most part at both angles before making judgements. there were posts here that totally agree with you as i do. people can agree to disagree and yet be civil without name calling. have a good day and i look forward to your response.

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Ok...I just might be guilty. I agree with your request, but my response was to another posting, not to your request for respect.

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Ain't gonna group hug. And although I endorse the overall request for respect I believe that respect is something that's earned not just handed out freely. At least not anymore.

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Ain't gonna group hug. And although I endorse the overall request for respect I believe that respect is something that's earned not just handed out freely. At least not anymore.

That right there is what's wrong these days! Why not give everyone respect until they prove they don't deserve it? Rather then having to "earn" it!

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Because to many people today demand respect without doing anything other than being themselves. But before this goes further we need to define respect.

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re·spect (r-spkt)

tr.v. re·spect·ed, re·spect·ing, re·spects

1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.

3. To relate or refer to; concern.

n.

1. A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. See Synonyms at regard.

2. The state of being regarded with honor or esteem.

3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

4. respects Polite expressions of consideration or deference: pay one's respects.

5. A particular aspect, feature, or detail: In many respects this is an important decision.

6. Usage Problem Relation; reference. See Usage Note at regar

So if one day we were to meet, say fishing on the shore of Lake Superior, I would have to earn your respect in someway, you couldn't just respect me as a fellow fisherman and human?

Would I need to bait your hook or something before you would respect me?

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Brule, nah. I think gunflint is getting at respect in the manner of respecting somone's opinion, or how they act, or a supervisor or manager.

For instance: you'd be silly to respect my opinions on mining safety & sturgeon fishing, because I know nothing of either of them. On the less pleasant side of things, I think we've all had managers/supervisors who demanded respect before they'd earned any.

Fishing next to you on Lake Superior I wouldn't need to respect you, I'd expect to be respectful OF YOU if that makes sense (i.e. give you room, not cast across your line, help if you needed it, etc.). To me there's a big difference between "earning" respect, which I totally agree with gunflint on, & just being decent to your fellow man.

Oh heck, I need that hug now <sniffle>.

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Good reminder, I think the key is to always critique the ideas not the person putting them forth.

And that we all have a lot more in common than we don't.

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I think we could go a long way towards respect by not treating people that disagree with our opinions like they have a total lack of intellect.

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How about, Do unto others as you might want them to do unto you. This has always worked and still should, even today.

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Aaaawwwwwe comon Harvey Lee that is waaaaaayyyy to simple grin Can't be having things that makes that much sense happening down here ya know laugh

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I was gonna say that it was really old-fashioned and just wouldn't work now-a-days. Maybe back in the olden days some of us grew up in, but not in the 21st century.

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